I really had no intention of coming back to California so soon after the US Open in June...but things happen. My mom thought my brother was taking her to California...turned out it was a misunderstanding. He was only looking for Christmas money from her so he could take his family to California. Oops! So after looking at really low airfares, I decided, hey! Let's do it!
We decided to go in March-since February has typically been cool in San Diego. And after the winter we have had in New England, I was totally looking forward to a sunny vacation.
Now if you've ever traveled with me you know things happen-always. Not to disappoint anyone, my first mistake was in booking the trip with a layover. I misread the itinerary and forgot to include the time change in my flight time. We flew an hour to Baltimore and then still had a 5 and a half hour flight to San Diego. We had not eaten anything more than peanuts and crackers since we left Manchester at 3pm. It was my first night of no supper. I was starting to get cranky...
Then when we arrived and went to the luggage carousel....my worst fear came true. No luggage. Nothing. No clothes. Just the jeans and t shirt on my back. "That's okay, you can wear my clothes," Cousin Dotty graciously offered. "Here, I have a package of brand new underwear!" Thank goodness! And what a treat to be able to share clothes with a 65 year old! I will never again over pack...I know this is some kind of karma...
The next day we caught the Amtrack Surfliner to Santa Barbara. Since Deanna fell the week before our trip we got the extra special privilege of sitting in the Senior Citizen Car. Woohoo!!
Off the train in Burbank at Bob Hope Airport, Fr. Ray picked us up. We had a lovely champagne brunch and then headed to San Fernando to see where he lived before heading to Santa Barbara.
I looked smashing in my Tye dye T-shirt and 24 hour jeans. Ray took us to meet Fr. Jim, the 90 year old priest he cares for, and we saw his photo album of their trip to Fr. Fred's mission in Haiti.
We arrived at the Upham Hotel in Santa Barbara, and stayed in the same room we had last year. We visited with Dotty's daughter and son in law and grandaughter. It was my second official night of no supper.
Day 2 in Santa Barbara was spent shopping, kind of. But if we wanted to get in before midnight, we had to catch the 2pm train back to Solana Beach. We met Lisa for a great lunch on the deck overlooking Santa Barbara Harbor at Brophy's Clam and Seafood Restaurant. The cioppino was superb, but I should have starting carbo loading. The train ride home was uneventful, back to the Senior Car, and we arrived home to a glass of wine and some snacks..no supper, Day 3.
Do I sound like I am stuck on the eating thing?
So here we are back ini Encinitas at Cousin Dotty's-who now has a roommate. A lovely woman who has taken over her spare room upstairs. The room with the view, and the bathroom. My room. Darn. What that means is I have to share a room AND a bed with my mom, and the three of us have to share one bathroom. Oh, oh. Oh and did I mention my mom is allergic to the two cats Dotty has? And di dI mention all of her allergy meds were in the lost luggage?Oh, oh...And did I mention my mom is a constant complainer? She does not suffer in silence...
Well, so night one in Encinitas was pretty sleepless..."I'm cold, my eyes itch, my ankle is puffy, my knee hurts, I'm so stiff, I have a head ache, my feet are freezing...on and on and on...but we did cook a fantastic supper. Night two was no better than night one, mom apparently is awake every hour during the night ans she thinks everyone else is, too. At 2:30 am she says, "Can you please move over? You're too close to me. " Woke me up from a fantastic sleep...short, but fantastic. My day started at 3am... Non -stop conversation during the day continues into the night.
Night three Dotty gave up her own bed for me, and she slept on the window seat/twin bed. I finally slept throught the night.
Night 4 Dotty took her room back...she tried to sell me on the window seat/twin bed. Now my stuff (our luggage was waiting for us when we arrived back from Santa Barbara) was strewn between my mom's room, Dotty's room, and the dining room. I was a homeless person. No spot to call my own. At least it was relatively warm and the orange tree out back provided fruit and snacks.
Now in between the sleeping and eating, of course we had sunny, beautiful days..days punctuated by the non stop continuous chatter of my mom. She would talk to a wall. It doesn't matter if you respond, because she doesn't listen. She talks over everyone. She is sweet, and endearing and everyone loves her, including me. But she talks too much.
It has been a very long week...the Seniors are exhausted and last night went to bed at 9pm. Woohoo! I watched a DVD on my laptop. The days of sitting in the sun have not materialized, as the temperature has not made it past 65 degrees. Today will most likely involve cleaning, shopping for food and cooking for the St Patty's dinner party tonight. What will tomorrow bring? We shall have to see....but for now, it is quiet except for the birds chirping and the clock ticking. I have a fantastic view of a patio and palm trees and if it were sunny...the ocean. I can almost imagine being on vacation....
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
What's in your gene pool?
I'm on vacation in not so sunny California this week with my mom and her cousin. This has become an annual pilgrimage across the country not only to visit an absolutely gorgeous state, but to re connect with family. It is important, for my mom, and for me. The gene pool is drying up.
Last night around the dinner table that included my mom, her cousin, the starving artist who lives in the cottage out back, and the other starving artist who lives upstairs in what use do be my room, (a little resentment there) we talked of family, and the only surviving relative that connects us (excluding the starving artists..)Auntie Barbara.
Out came the family photo..taken in probably 1945..the entire Witham clan, headed up by matriarch Nellie, with 5 children, their spouses and their children. Auntie Barbara was the youngest of the siblings' wives. And she was a beauty queen. With a gorgeous face, long dark hair and proper pose, she really was a beauty queen, having own at least one contest in her youthful prime.
"How is Auntie Barbara?"
"She's doing okay.." Does anybody know how old she is? It is the last best guarded secret in the family.
"I think she must be 84 or 85...."
"Really? How old were you in that picture? You look like you were two," my mom says to Dotty.
"I don't know, probably. How old was Barbara when she got married? 19? 20? She can't have been more than 20..." On and on the guessing went, until finally Dotty, said, "I'll just look it up on the computer!
"You can do that? My mom says..
"And before Dotty could answer she shouted back ," She's 84!"
"Well her birthday is today, so she's 85 now!"
Technically, Barbara is not in the gene pool we share. She married my grandmother's youngest brother when he was in the Navy during WWII. At eighty-something she is the lone survivor.
The California starving artists were amazed as the family talk circled around the dinner table: Toni Perms, eye brow waxing, engineers, teasing, Baptist Methodists marrying catholics, drugs, jail time-there was enough drama to last a lifetime. The family resemblance between cousins is remarkable. There is just enough flakiness to know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, either. Spending oh so much family time with my mom, we share some eerie qualities with Dotty: losing things, often, independence (stubbornness), but also, laughter, loyalty and big hips. We trip, we fall (my mom has this down to a science..what is wrong with you this month?) and we have the uncanny ability to pick ourselves up and go on.
It is a gift to be able to take this time to peer into the rapidly evaporating gene pool...to notice the water rings, the light reflecting of its surface, and to see, with increasing clarity down into its depths...the water can get murky at times, and there are pebbles and other obstacles on the bottom, but it is peaceful and charming, and it is mine.
Last night around the dinner table that included my mom, her cousin, the starving artist who lives in the cottage out back, and the other starving artist who lives upstairs in what use do be my room, (a little resentment there) we talked of family, and the only surviving relative that connects us (excluding the starving artists..)Auntie Barbara.
Out came the family photo..taken in probably 1945..the entire Witham clan, headed up by matriarch Nellie, with 5 children, their spouses and their children. Auntie Barbara was the youngest of the siblings' wives. And she was a beauty queen. With a gorgeous face, long dark hair and proper pose, she really was a beauty queen, having own at least one contest in her youthful prime.
"How is Auntie Barbara?"
"She's doing okay.." Does anybody know how old she is? It is the last best guarded secret in the family.
"I think she must be 84 or 85...."
"Really? How old were you in that picture? You look like you were two," my mom says to Dotty.
"I don't know, probably. How old was Barbara when she got married? 19? 20? She can't have been more than 20..." On and on the guessing went, until finally Dotty, said, "I'll just look it up on the computer!
"You can do that? My mom says..
"And before Dotty could answer she shouted back ," She's 84!"
"Well her birthday is today, so she's 85 now!"
Technically, Barbara is not in the gene pool we share. She married my grandmother's youngest brother when he was in the Navy during WWII. At eighty-something she is the lone survivor.
The California starving artists were amazed as the family talk circled around the dinner table: Toni Perms, eye brow waxing, engineers, teasing, Baptist Methodists marrying catholics, drugs, jail time-there was enough drama to last a lifetime. The family resemblance between cousins is remarkable. There is just enough flakiness to know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, either. Spending oh so much family time with my mom, we share some eerie qualities with Dotty: losing things, often, independence (stubbornness), but also, laughter, loyalty and big hips. We trip, we fall (my mom has this down to a science..what is wrong with you this month?) and we have the uncanny ability to pick ourselves up and go on.
It is a gift to be able to take this time to peer into the rapidly evaporating gene pool...to notice the water rings, the light reflecting of its surface, and to see, with increasing clarity down into its depths...the water can get murky at times, and there are pebbles and other obstacles on the bottom, but it is peaceful and charming, and it is mine.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
4 months
It goes by in a flash, but seems like an eternity at the same time. 4 months of healthy living. What do I have to show for it? I'm not really sure. It' s not a straight path to the finish line, that's for sure; and who wants to race to the finish line anyways? It's trial and error, and becoming aware of choices that affect how you feel and function as a human being.
It's about becoming wiser and more intuitive. It's about increasing self discipline and foregoing instant gratification. It's about patience and perseverance and not stepping on the scale every day.
Here's what I've learned:
1. Even doing little things inconsistently is better than doing nothing at all.
2. Slowly, you adjust and even the little things become habits for living.
3. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day, although maybe an old wives' tale (alright, so I am an old wife!) seems to work, for a lot of reasons
4. The difference between soreness and pain is subtle...
5. You can take more than you think you can, so working with someone who can push you is crucial
6. Sometimes it's hard to know when to stop pushing through pain, so see number 5.
7. Never give up, because it's never too late to improve your well being.
8. Do not waste time brooding over the past....because it is gone and you cannot get it back.
So, even though I just had a slice of cold pizza for breakfast, my body is telling me that probably was not a good choice, and I will remember that the next time I get the impulsive urge to eat something that has been sitting in the refrigerator for 3 days.
But I will drink my water and take my vitamins and do my crunches and push ups and stretches and arm exercises and not look back. 4 months will turn into 5, then 6, then a year. There is no finish line, really. Life is a journey, just like the cliche...slow and steady wins the race. That's a hard one for me...I am learning to be slow and steady instead of fast and furious. Good things come to those who wait...I'm sure, but better things come to those who can grow and change and continue to learn.
It's about becoming wiser and more intuitive. It's about increasing self discipline and foregoing instant gratification. It's about patience and perseverance and not stepping on the scale every day.
Here's what I've learned:
1. Even doing little things inconsistently is better than doing nothing at all.
2. Slowly, you adjust and even the little things become habits for living.
3. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day, although maybe an old wives' tale (alright, so I am an old wife!) seems to work, for a lot of reasons
4. The difference between soreness and pain is subtle...
5. You can take more than you think you can, so working with someone who can push you is crucial
6. Sometimes it's hard to know when to stop pushing through pain, so see number 5.
7. Never give up, because it's never too late to improve your well being.
8. Do not waste time brooding over the past....because it is gone and you cannot get it back.
So, even though I just had a slice of cold pizza for breakfast, my body is telling me that probably was not a good choice, and I will remember that the next time I get the impulsive urge to eat something that has been sitting in the refrigerator for 3 days.
But I will drink my water and take my vitamins and do my crunches and push ups and stretches and arm exercises and not look back. 4 months will turn into 5, then 6, then a year. There is no finish line, really. Life is a journey, just like the cliche...slow and steady wins the race. That's a hard one for me...I am learning to be slow and steady instead of fast and furious. Good things come to those who wait...I'm sure, but better things come to those who can grow and change and continue to learn.
Monday, February 23, 2009
It's not easy being green
Kermit the Frog once sang a song from the heart about the trials and tribulations of being green. This song has been playing in my mind this week as I continue to lose things,including myself, in my efforts to improve my punctuality.
I hate being late for appointments. And it is said that it is a control thing. People who are late, like to have the world revolve around them...so that they are controlling the situation. I have a hard time believing that, but yet, somehow, subconsciously, I believe that it is true.
So I had an appointment this week with a Wedding Planner to get information and tour a venue for my daughter. The appointment had to be changed because some one's schedule changed (not mine) and thus, I was not in control of the situation. The appointment was now scheduled for 4:00 in the afternoon. Not leaving myself enough time, I tried to get off the highway and head though town, only discovering that I had no clue how to get there in a quick and efficient way. I had to call my husband who I was supposed to be meeting there, and admit I would be late. Upon arrival I had to admit I was late because I did not leave work early enough. To make matters worse, someone in front of me at the tollbooth tried to put a dollar bill into the quick change basket. And then decide against it and had to rummage through his vehicle for loose change-only to toss the dollar bill into the basket anyways: time elapsed? 5 minutes. There were red lights, and wrong turns and a big circle, that's all I know, and I was 30 minutes late.
The appointment was uneventful, and off we headed in separate vehicles. As we headed through Newmarket toward home, I following the Bravada, we approached the train tracks. Head down, I followed the vehicle in front of me, not paying much attention to the headlights approaching down the track to my left. As I awakened from my thought, I noticed the red flashing lights of the cross bar just as the bar lowered behind my passing truck and the train's horn blew a warning to signal its crossing. Phew! that was a little close!
The next event kicked off the weekend in a really big way. I was meeting a friend at her house to go to a hockey game. I was determined Not to be late. I rushed through my workout and dashed out of the gym and headed to her house. As I pulled into her driveway it was 5:00 on the dot. But there were no cars in the drive and her house was in darkness. Maybe she parked in the garage? The boys were barking tehir heads off as I sat in my truck for a few minutes gathering my stuff. Because of my rush, my stuff was everywhere. I got out of the truck and walked up to the house and the barking continued. I hadn't been there in awhile. I opened the door leading to the foyer and proceeded to open the kitchen door. As I did, I heard a beep..an another beep..the dogs were exhuberant! "Is anyone home? Hello??!"
All of a sudden, over the barking blared an alarm.."CRAP! You guys need to stay in here!" I shut the door and headed back to my truck, the alarm blaring a shrill siren like tone."Great. This could only happen to me." As I left a message on her cell phone, a police cruiser pulled into the driveway. "It was me," I fessed up sheepishly. He didn't really know what to do, so he politely and apologetically asked me for my information as my friend's daughter pulled into the driveway.
"It's okay, I know her," she said. Great.
I am glad the week is over. I tried to turn over a new leaf and be more punctual, instead, I cretaed more stress for myself and others. The worst was having to continually explain myself and admit the errors in my thinking that lead to some bad situations. Funny? Yes. It could only happe to me.
I hate being late for appointments. And it is said that it is a control thing. People who are late, like to have the world revolve around them...so that they are controlling the situation. I have a hard time believing that, but yet, somehow, subconsciously, I believe that it is true.
So I had an appointment this week with a Wedding Planner to get information and tour a venue for my daughter. The appointment had to be changed because some one's schedule changed (not mine) and thus, I was not in control of the situation. The appointment was now scheduled for 4:00 in the afternoon. Not leaving myself enough time, I tried to get off the highway and head though town, only discovering that I had no clue how to get there in a quick and efficient way. I had to call my husband who I was supposed to be meeting there, and admit I would be late. Upon arrival I had to admit I was late because I did not leave work early enough. To make matters worse, someone in front of me at the tollbooth tried to put a dollar bill into the quick change basket. And then decide against it and had to rummage through his vehicle for loose change-only to toss the dollar bill into the basket anyways: time elapsed? 5 minutes. There were red lights, and wrong turns and a big circle, that's all I know, and I was 30 minutes late.
The appointment was uneventful, and off we headed in separate vehicles. As we headed through Newmarket toward home, I following the Bravada, we approached the train tracks. Head down, I followed the vehicle in front of me, not paying much attention to the headlights approaching down the track to my left. As I awakened from my thought, I noticed the red flashing lights of the cross bar just as the bar lowered behind my passing truck and the train's horn blew a warning to signal its crossing. Phew! that was a little close!
The next event kicked off the weekend in a really big way. I was meeting a friend at her house to go to a hockey game. I was determined Not to be late. I rushed through my workout and dashed out of the gym and headed to her house. As I pulled into her driveway it was 5:00 on the dot. But there were no cars in the drive and her house was in darkness. Maybe she parked in the garage? The boys were barking tehir heads off as I sat in my truck for a few minutes gathering my stuff. Because of my rush, my stuff was everywhere. I got out of the truck and walked up to the house and the barking continued. I hadn't been there in awhile. I opened the door leading to the foyer and proceeded to open the kitchen door. As I did, I heard a beep..an another beep..the dogs were exhuberant! "Is anyone home? Hello??!"
All of a sudden, over the barking blared an alarm.."CRAP! You guys need to stay in here!" I shut the door and headed back to my truck, the alarm blaring a shrill siren like tone."Great. This could only happen to me." As I left a message on her cell phone, a police cruiser pulled into the driveway. "It was me," I fessed up sheepishly. He didn't really know what to do, so he politely and apologetically asked me for my information as my friend's daughter pulled into the driveway.
"It's okay, I know her," she said. Great.
I am glad the week is over. I tried to turn over a new leaf and be more punctual, instead, I cretaed more stress for myself and others. The worst was having to continually explain myself and admit the errors in my thinking that lead to some bad situations. Funny? Yes. It could only happe to me.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Dreaming About the Future
Okay, so when you get to be my age, it is quite possible that more of your life is behind you then ahead of you. But let's not worry about that. Looking back (briefly) I wish I had paid more atttention to my life in order to take advantage of some of the amazing opportunities that were out there. Like Oprah. But for whatever reason, I did not, or maybe I did exactly what I was supposed to do at the time which led me to right here, right now.
Now I am awake. Kind of. My husband would debate that statement. I appreciate every day and what it brings..and I look at what life throws at me as opportunities. A different point of view perhaps? Who knows. I guess it's kind of a "sieze the day" mentality. I love to take advantage of learning something new, or trying something new. There's a lot of newness out there in the world.
I recently got a new Blackberry. The RIM os is definitely different than Windows Mobile. If I had insisted on being loyal to Windows Mobile, I never would have learned about Google Sync, and Google Mobile, which is a totally fun experience. I had to learn something new, and figure stuff out, and it jump started my brain, and got me thinking (oh, oh) about the future...what do I want to learn next? What am I curious about?
And then I found out yesterday the school district I work for voted (finally) to build a new elementary school. And the wheels started turning...I now have a BIG project-to be a part of a team that plans technology for education far into the future. I can only hope to make a difference in the decisions I help to make and the things I choose to do.
So it's a good thing to be awake. I want to be aware and looking forward to what each day brings. And I want to embrace the little moments that make up each day....and seize them as learning opportunities. And we all know mistakes will be made because that's how learning happens. I am fortunate that my mistakes thus far have helped to forge the person I have become, and I am hoping that's a good thing. But that's another story....
Now I am awake. Kind of. My husband would debate that statement. I appreciate every day and what it brings..and I look at what life throws at me as opportunities. A different point of view perhaps? Who knows. I guess it's kind of a "sieze the day" mentality. I love to take advantage of learning something new, or trying something new. There's a lot of newness out there in the world.
I recently got a new Blackberry. The RIM os is definitely different than Windows Mobile. If I had insisted on being loyal to Windows Mobile, I never would have learned about Google Sync, and Google Mobile, which is a totally fun experience. I had to learn something new, and figure stuff out, and it jump started my brain, and got me thinking (oh, oh) about the future...what do I want to learn next? What am I curious about?
And then I found out yesterday the school district I work for voted (finally) to build a new elementary school. And the wheels started turning...I now have a BIG project-to be a part of a team that plans technology for education far into the future. I can only hope to make a difference in the decisions I help to make and the things I choose to do.
So it's a good thing to be awake. I want to be aware and looking forward to what each day brings. And I want to embrace the little moments that make up each day....and seize them as learning opportunities. And we all know mistakes will be made because that's how learning happens. I am fortunate that my mistakes thus far have helped to forge the person I have become, and I am hoping that's a good thing. But that's another story....
Saturday, February 14, 2009
So What is that saying?
This week has felt like one big cliche, or Name That Tune, whichever you prefer. Every now and then, when someone says something, or does something, or I am in a situation, cliche's run through my head, or sometimes it's song lyrics. Does that ever happen to you? And sometimes I laugh to myself, because they are really cheesey and bad.
1. For example, "When one door closes, another one always opens." What I realized is just thinking a door has closed often opens up another door you wouldn't have chosen to open on your own. Surprise! Funny how that works.
2. "It never rains in California..." You know the song. It' s been pouring there,one storm after another. I thought it never rains in California? What happened to the draught?
3. "Be careful what you wish for." Even though I usually don't wish out loud..that would be bad luck...it doesn't matter, wishes are wishes. For years I have wished my husband had weekends off, like normal, working people (retail isn't normal). I got what I wished for. What I forgot to wish for was EVERY weekend. I only got every other weekend. He now gets to WORK every other weekend. So much for that wish. I hate when he works Sunday, now that will be part of the routine. Hopefully this will open a new door. See number 1 above.
4. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I don't think that' s true. In my experience, it' s more like, "Out of sight, out of mind." I like to feel independent, and be independent, so it will be a challenge to be independent 2 weekends a month....and not be the control freak I am on the other two, and be happy about it.
5. "That's what friends are for." When someone you care about loses someone they love, no matter when, it sucks. I have friends I need to call.
6. "Pay back is a bitch" and "What goes around, comes around." And it works both ways. I feel I am paying my dues in so many small ways for the errors of my ways and to make up for life's wrong turns and misguided deeds. I do not wish anything on others, because of number 3 above, but you cannot go wrong if you are patient, kind, and thoughtful with others, no matter how annoying they are.
7. "At the car wash.." It's that time of year. I never go to the car wash, but I have this year, twice. The last time I sat in line for 35 minutes thinking, " I cannot believe I am sitting here in line waiting for the car wash.." but it was a Friday afternoon, and it was payday, and my truck was filthy and it was sunny and relatively warm out, so I sat in my truck and inched my way toward the garage door and the when the lady's voice announced" "The wash is available, please enter," I thought, "YAY!"
And so starts another week. Hopefully the voices in my head will not be singing the same old song. I wonder what this week will bring? Stay tuned...
1. For example, "When one door closes, another one always opens." What I realized is just thinking a door has closed often opens up another door you wouldn't have chosen to open on your own. Surprise! Funny how that works.
2. "It never rains in California..." You know the song. It' s been pouring there,one storm after another. I thought it never rains in California? What happened to the draught?
3. "Be careful what you wish for." Even though I usually don't wish out loud..that would be bad luck...it doesn't matter, wishes are wishes. For years I have wished my husband had weekends off, like normal, working people (retail isn't normal). I got what I wished for. What I forgot to wish for was EVERY weekend. I only got every other weekend. He now gets to WORK every other weekend. So much for that wish. I hate when he works Sunday, now that will be part of the routine. Hopefully this will open a new door. See number 1 above.
4. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I don't think that' s true. In my experience, it' s more like, "Out of sight, out of mind." I like to feel independent, and be independent, so it will be a challenge to be independent 2 weekends a month....and not be the control freak I am on the other two, and be happy about it.
5. "That's what friends are for." When someone you care about loses someone they love, no matter when, it sucks. I have friends I need to call.
6. "Pay back is a bitch" and "What goes around, comes around." And it works both ways. I feel I am paying my dues in so many small ways for the errors of my ways and to make up for life's wrong turns and misguided deeds. I do not wish anything on others, because of number 3 above, but you cannot go wrong if you are patient, kind, and thoughtful with others, no matter how annoying they are.
7. "At the car wash.." It's that time of year. I never go to the car wash, but I have this year, twice. The last time I sat in line for 35 minutes thinking, " I cannot believe I am sitting here in line waiting for the car wash.." but it was a Friday afternoon, and it was payday, and my truck was filthy and it was sunny and relatively warm out, so I sat in my truck and inched my way toward the garage door and the when the lady's voice announced" "The wash is available, please enter," I thought, "YAY!"
And so starts another week. Hopefully the voices in my head will not be singing the same old song. I wonder what this week will bring? Stay tuned...
Monday, February 9, 2009
Something's Missing
SO you would think this blog would be about me, losing something, again. After all, I did lock myself out of my truck at McDonald's on Saturday. I didn't even have my phone..all I had was a debit card, so at least I didn't starve. It was like being on some reality show when I had to pick someone I could ask to borrow their phone.Last week I thought I lost my boots AND my sneakers. I even asked them to look through the Lost and Found at the gym. They were in my closet at home the whole time.
Nope, this is about missing pieces; trying to find what' s missing every day, because something must be wrong. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, and I love my people, but something is definitely missing. I could not put my finger on it until I went to a basketball game Friday night just to see my old friend. I knew she would be there, and she was. It was like coming home again, even though we were in Portsmouth, which is definitely not home.
We hugged, we chatted, we tried to catch up. We hadn't seen each other since summer, and in 10 minutes we knew all the important stuff. But more importantly, we connected and it felt good to be with my friend.
"It was hard, at first, with my new team," she said. "I really like them, and all, they're lovely people, and then I finally figured it out. They are just not my friends. I am not working with my friends anymore. But it's okay, it's just different. They are just not my friends, really."
At that moment it was like, AHA. She was so right. And I knew from speaking with others that she had not been happy, that something was different. Something WAS different. I saw her that night for a reason. And then on Sunday I saw 2 more former coworkers, and I realized, sometimes you work with people, and sometimes, if you're lucky, you work with friends.
Sometimes if you work in a place long enough, your people become your friends.
I have been trying to find my friends in the people I work with, and they are just not there. Making friends is not something you can make happen, it just happens. So I will go to work, and be with nice people, friendly people, smart people, and sometimes weirdly funny people, and I will try to fit in somewhere. It is so like being the new kid in school or the new kid in class I cannot even tell you how awkward it feels sometimes. And I will remember working with my friends, but I will no longer try to find them. They are not really missing, they are just missed.
Nope, this is about missing pieces; trying to find what' s missing every day, because something must be wrong. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, and I love my people, but something is definitely missing. I could not put my finger on it until I went to a basketball game Friday night just to see my old friend. I knew she would be there, and she was. It was like coming home again, even though we were in Portsmouth, which is definitely not home.
We hugged, we chatted, we tried to catch up. We hadn't seen each other since summer, and in 10 minutes we knew all the important stuff. But more importantly, we connected and it felt good to be with my friend.
"It was hard, at first, with my new team," she said. "I really like them, and all, they're lovely people, and then I finally figured it out. They are just not my friends. I am not working with my friends anymore. But it's okay, it's just different. They are just not my friends, really."
At that moment it was like, AHA. She was so right. And I knew from speaking with others that she had not been happy, that something was different. Something WAS different. I saw her that night for a reason. And then on Sunday I saw 2 more former coworkers, and I realized, sometimes you work with people, and sometimes, if you're lucky, you work with friends.
Sometimes if you work in a place long enough, your people become your friends.
I have been trying to find my friends in the people I work with, and they are just not there. Making friends is not something you can make happen, it just happens. So I will go to work, and be with nice people, friendly people, smart people, and sometimes weirdly funny people, and I will try to fit in somewhere. It is so like being the new kid in school or the new kid in class I cannot even tell you how awkward it feels sometimes. And I will remember working with my friends, but I will no longer try to find them. They are not really missing, they are just missed.
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