Tanning 101:Part 2

So the last blog ended with me on my way to the booth. " Do you want a bed or a booth?"
"A booth please, this time."
So, you know the score..lotion applied ahead of time: SPF 8 on the back, the front.....SPF 4 on the arms, tanning lotion on the legs. And off to the booth. I wonder where I put my stuff? I thought to myself as I stepped inside the closet shaped cubicle. If I hang stuff up on the hooks, it'll block the rays. SO I carefully put my clothes in a pile on the floor, positioned my FDA approved protective eyewear, and waited for my 3 minutes to count down. 3....2....1....we have ignition. The fan started blowing, a light bulb turned on somewhere, and I waited. But I did not feel heat. I did not see light. I felt a bit chilly, actually, as the fan blew and I stood there wondering , is this it?

Was I supposed to turn something on? Somehow this didn't seem right. I felt a little heat coming from somewhere....maybe it's this booth? Maybe this is what the booth does? Hmmmmm, I'm really not feeling very confident, as the counter ticked off my 8 minutes. I did not dare look directly at anything, you know because of the whole toasted eyeball thing, so I waited. And then it was over.

I pulled off my glasses and looked around. There were no bulbs, really. Directly in front of me there was a crack, and through the crack I could see the bulbs, and a switch that said "TANNING BULBS ON/OFF" Was I supposed to hit that switch? But how do I reach it? As I tried to reach through the crack, my hand touched the wall in front of me and it moved...it swung, and as I pushed it I realized it was a door. As the door gave way I could see ANOTHER booth surrounded by bulbs and a gigantic fan in the ceiling. That's where I should have been standing!
I don't believe it! I looked incredulously as I realized I had been standing in the middle of the dressing area trying to get a tan from the empty white walls. I never went inside the actual tanning booth itself.I am an idiot, and this is getting ridiculous. Why are there not directions or something posted? I could write a book: Tanning Salons for Dummies.

I don't think there is anything else left for me to screw up, really. Except that every bed is different, every booth is different, and I am easily confused and do not like to ask questions. My family, even my mom, thinks it is hysterical. I am annoyed I wasted 8 minutes of tanning time and what little tan I have is starting to fade, along with my white stripes. "You need to tell them about the stripes," my daughter said. "Did mom tell you her tanning booth story?" I am a regular riot at the dinner table.

So I am gonna have to keep this thing up until I successfully get a tan. Hopefully, that'll happen before my one month membership is up. I still have 2 and a half weeks, I think. I am determined to get it right tomorrow. I know I can do it. I think. Let's hope there are no more surprises.