I recently returned from my annual golf vacation to Myrtle Beach. I am thinking it might be time to change things up a bit. The typical formula for Myrtle Beach fun had been strayed away from the last 2 years. There is a reason why the recipe for fun must be adhered to, otherwise, the whole experience falls flat.
After last year's escapade with family friends, I thought to myself, "This wasn't as much fun without my husband and his friends- they are way more fun.....next year I will go with them." So, heading into 2009, with a new job and different responsibilities and a more flexible schedule, I firmly decided I would go whenever my husband and his friends went.
Up until 2 weeks before the trip we had 8 golfers...and then 2 dropped out...and then 1 more dropped out.."Have fun golfing with your wife all week," my husband's friend commented to him.
Should I drop out? Not fair...I was in from the beginning! But, I was the "fifth" golfer. And a wife. I tried to convince myself it would be fine; my husband told me it would be fine; I knew it would be less than fine. It is easier to be one of the boys when there are more than 6 golfers. It is impossible to be one of the boys when you are the fifth wheel.
I love my husband's friends-they are funny, kind, and down to earth. But they are his friends.
We went to a birthday party for another of his friends the night before we left for Myrtle Beach."So, what do you do? Do you go to lay by the pool and hang out while they golf?" one of the wives asked me...
Another sign. I had neon, glaring signs all the way, and I stubbornly stuck to my decision to go because I wanted to have fun. Let me just say-you cannot go looking for fun and adventure- it must find you. There were moments that were fun-like the ferry ride over to Bald Head Island-but the greens had been aerated and we were all really tired. Like playing World Tour International and getting to Amen Corner and the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass- but it was a cheap imitation- no where near the real experience-you can not re-create fun.
And then there was listening to the boys tell stories about their day together-we had no stories to share. Who wants to hear about how annoying my husband is? I couldn't rag on their friend. "It's okay if we make fun of each other," he said,"but they don't know how to take it if you make fun of me, it just sounds like you're complaining." Great. Do not try to pretend to be having fun-it just comes off as complaining, I guess.
There were things that happened that I thought were fun and funny, and no one agreed with me. That was awkward. Some holes I outplayed the guys....that was fun for me, but I couldn't show it..they were sulking. When I hit a bad shot, I couldn't smash my club and swear, like them. They didn't thinkthat was fun. They smoked cigars and drank Coors Light. I was thankful for my occasional Bloody Mary. I hit from T boxes that were too far back and barely made it over the crap- and let me tell you there was nothing but crap, sand, and water. More golf lessons from my husband. Not fun.
And so it went. We played a lot of golf. The boys all had fun. It was a smashing success. They have very low expectations and their fun involves swinging a golf club, ending the day with a too large serving of beef and sweet tea, and soaking in the hot tub-followed by watching the Celtics, th Bruins and the Sox. No American Idol, Dancing with the Stars and Grays?
So, I am rethinking the whole Myrtle Beach golf experience with the boys. I had more fun last year with a mixed group. Maybe I am an annoying golfer. Maybe it is no fun to play with a wife. Next year I will not try to plan my fun with high hopes and great expectations. I will let fun find me and see what happens. There is fun and adventure out there waiting for me, I know it.
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