Awkward Moments

I am feeling a bit like maybe I forgot to shower today-except I didn't-but so far my interactions with strangers and former co-workers have left me feeling like I should just stay in front of my television in my sweats and not venture outside.

Naively, I am excited to see people I used to work with, or people I once knew-in any capacity. I usually make the assumption they will be happy to see me. But just as quickly that excitement turns to confusion when I get a cool response and a "well, then have a nice day." Which usually comes right after they ask me a few questions about my family and my job. Did I say something wrong? Or do people really not care what you are doing in your life-they are just being polite and want to be on their way. Unfortunately, I take it personally, and then spend the next several hours reflecting on what I said or did in my past that might be causing them to react in the way they do.

Awkward moment. I was so uncomfortably shy growing up, until I got to know someone fairly well. But then once I got to know them, I thought everyone was my friend. I still feel that way. my husband reminds me that most people are not your friends-and now I am beginning to believe him and it makes me sad. Were they ever my friends? Or were they just being themselves-here today, gone tomorrow; out of sight out of mind.

I pride myself in my loyalty-but sometimes that i s to a fault. It is sometimes difficult to let go and admit that when I randomly come across folks I used to be friends with, not everyone thinks of me the same way. They are nosy, sometimes curious-but only so they can go back and report to their "real" friends.

In spite of the awkward moments that might ensue-I will not ignore people who I used to know. That is who I am. If they do not respond to my cheery "Hello, how have you been?" Then maybe they have not been very well and they choose not to share. I do find it interesting that I do not hear from many of my friends unless I contact them.

I was watching the very cheesy movie "He's Just Not that Into You" last night, and maybe I should take a clue from the movie and move on. My real friends know who they are. I think.