Figuring Out Where I Fit In

For six months I have not been in public education. I am counting, and that worries me-is it indicative of how long it feels like I have been away from home? I am not going back, but I am still counting the days I have been away. I am in a place that is new and foreign and a bit uncomfortable. On the one hand, it feels like I have been   here forever, but on the other hand there is no denying I am the "new girl". I am still trying to figure out how and where I fit in. It bothers me that I am not on the "inside" of conversations and events, that I am on a need to know basis. I am not sure if it is because I am new and people do not want to overwhelm me-but on the other hand they have little idea where I have come from and what I used to do. It is a fine line between doing your job as others perceive it, and doing the job you would like to do without stepping on everyone around you.

There has been much in the news about introverts recently-and now I know I am one of them. I'm pretty sure I am not an extrovert. So in my own way, on my own terms, I have to deal with making myself fit in and be recognized for my strengths, skills and abilities. I am bringing my education background, focus and connections to an industry that is providing a service for educators. They are much more experienced in their arena than I, but my piece to the puzzle is quite valuable-and many of them are not sure what it is and how it fits right now. Without being a braggart and a know it all, I guess I will have to continue to do my job, my way, and patiently allow things to develop over time in a non threatening way, to allow others the opportunity to expertly guide me to places I have already been.

I am my job

I had an aha moment yesterday when, in conversation with a few of my new colleagues, I was describing how it came to be that I left public education and came to work at my new job. And I found myself saying, this is me- it is who I am. The words just came out of my mouth and then I realized how powerful those words were.

For most, if not all, of my years in public education, I loved my students and I loved teaching, but I was considered a bit of a rebel, a renegade, because I taught from a philosophy and belief system that truly honored the individual child, situation, and circumstance unique to each learner. Yet, public education is all about conforming, and everyone receiving the same education experience. So for years I would teach, and think and believe, and hope that I could make a difference in the lives of individuals and I have no doubt that I did make a difference, but I grew tired- bone weary, really, and felt my life slipping away. Every day was an internal struggle, a fight, a battle against a seemingly insurmountable foe. Apparently I was getting pretty cranky.

And so now here I am, working for a company that truly values individuals, their health and well being; and, ironically, they value teachers and education by doing, not by saying. They live their mission. Don't get me wrong, there is still the battle of good vs evil, and I will take up my fight for the good, but I will be able to do it standing with my colleagues and my leaders, who are of the same vision and purpose. I used to say your job is what you do, not who you are. Today I can truly say, I am my job.

New Year, New Gig

Happy New Year! It has been almost a year since I have posted to this blog, and there is something to be said for making your self so crazy-busy you have no time to write, or breathe, or take care of yourself. But I am back.

In November I started a new adventure in Instructional Design for a local, very well known publishing company, and although it has only been 6 weeks, I find myself with time to think and wonder and explore again-as well as write. I have decided to keep this blog, but to write shorter posts, more often. I also have an Education-Technology Blog over at Edublogs: http://mrsbrophy.edublogs.com and I will be starting a new blog with quick, "How-To" posts for folks that just want to know, "How'd you do that?"

So there will be time for posting personal, fun stories-and yes I am still losing things, forgetting things, and plan to do more traveling, so that should be fun-as well as requiring the occasional need to vent without offending too many people. This will be the place for those posts.

If you want to hear how technology can and will change education for all learners, then head on over to Over The Tech Edge, and if you want to see what is coming next, well, you will have to check back in a day or two as I roll out my new blog.

Where else can you find me?

I am on

Twitter: @brophycat

Diigo: cebrophy

Flickr: cebrophy

Linkedin: Catheirne Brophy

Skype: Catherine

Time Flies

Apparently, I have had nothing to say in the last 1o months. If you know me, you know that is not true. It has been a typical year-one that I will run through in abbreviated fashion beginning with the last post in April.

In May a new grandson, Logan John , was born into the world. What a cutie-probably the cutest baby yet. Or maybe my eyes are getting old. Then Memorial weekend, my mom moved in with me for the summer. We spent the weekend packing, moving, unpacking and sweating.

In June we took a trip to California and volunteered at the US Open at Pebble Beach. We flew into Vegas for an overnight-it was gray and drizzly and cool, I had a wicked cold, and we almost crashed the nude pool for lunch. But we were dressed. We were hungry, I wanted a drink, and the outside lounge called BARE looked cool. So there we were at the Mirage, and I was sick. I barely remember wandering the streets looking at hotels, but what I do remember was the big shiny ad for the iPad. We had an awesome dinner and ate some gigantic crab legs and steak, and then flew to San Jose the next day to meet up with an old prom date I hadn't seen in 35 years.

THAT was interesting. Anyone who texts you as soon as your plane lands, and waits in the rental car parking lot is a stalker, and probably has issues. It was even more obvious when he announced he was driving a silver Porsche. Really? After taking us into town for lunch and grabbing the only free parking spot on the street, we order lunch, wine, appetizers; and he and his wife wait for us to pick up the tab. "Why don't we split it?" Super. And they took the leftovers. I hope I gave him my cold.

On to Pebble Beach-our 30th anniversary, and a trip of a lifetime. I was sick with a fever by now, and the temperature never got above 60, with a damp breeze off the ocean. 7Am on the second tee box meant we had to get up at 5am. We did get to see the Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's Wharf and the garlic capitol of the world. Oh, and Monterey was lovely. By Thursday, I was sick of wearing my underarmour, shirt, vest AND jacket, every day. And I was also sick of rude spectators who don't think the rules apply to them. And Tiger Woods is an ass. Just sayin.

5 days later I was on a plane to Denver for 5 days to ISTE. Thank goodness my friend Ginny managed to break me out of the city our last day there, and we got to go watch rock climbing overlooking the Coors Brewing Factory in Golden.

In July , in order to prevent a surprise birthday party from being thrown by my kids at my house, I told them I wanted to go to dinner for my birthday. The outdoor stoves would have been cool at the Beach Fire, but it was 95 degrees out that night. They ordered a ton of food-none of which I ate, and they made me wear a crown and sing Sweet Caroline for the gang. And my brother showed up with my good friend as his date. A fun and awkward night was had by all.

The month of July I spent working-I hosted 3 weeks of technology workshops for over 60 teachers; a total of 700 hours or something ridiculous, and then it was August.

I don't remember much of August, I think it was good. Then I went back to work and it was September. And then October, which was a sad month.

Back and forth to Florida a couple times to say good bye to my mother in law who passed away Oct 10. And then it was November, December, and January.

Now it is February, and it feels like that was a lot to have happen in a few short months. No wonder I am tired. It has been too long since I have written, and so the story isn't quite as entertaining as it could have been, but I'm back. I will have more road adventures, travel woes, and experiences to write about, but that's all for now.

Sunday Funday

I really was not looking forward to an April game at Fenway Park, even though I love going into Boston, especially to see New England's favorite baseball team-the Boston Red Sox! But an April game? In spite of the fact tickets from the box office are nearly impossible to secure, my husband managed to snag 2 tickets to the Sunday afternoon Patriot's weekend game.

Friday and Saturday were cold and rainy, and Sunday dawned rainy, too. It snowed up North, and there were signs of sleet and freezing rain occasionally. Oh, this ought to be lots of fun!

After checking the NOAA radar, it appeared the bulk of the rain would be heading out in or around the 1:35 game time. So we put on our Under Armour, our sweatshirts and grabbed waterproof rain gear, grabbed a sandwich, and some cash, and off we went.

"Do you have the tickets? Do you know where they are?"

"I know they're down the third baseline, that s all I remember."

As we drove south, it poured, but as we approached the city-the sun was peeking through the clouds. Great. I brought plenty of rain gear, but no shades.Over the Tobin, down Storrow Drive, and as we drove along the Charles, the cherry blossoms and azaleas were in nearly full bloom. Since when does Boston look this great Patriot's weekend?

It was kind of trafficky, and there were plenty of people out and about. That's right-the Boston Marathon is Monday! My excitement was building.We parked the truck and made our way to Yawkey Way. Tickets swiped, we went in and started looking first for the restroom, then for a beer, then for our section.

"Right up here!" As we came out into the open, the ground crew was laying the rain tarp-pouring again.

"See those umbrellas down there? That' sour section."

"Way down there? Like right down there?"

"We are in row 5."

"Hope they don't keep those umbrella's up during the game!"

So we stood under cover, drinking our beer and waited for the rain shower to blow over.

I can't believe people actually pay money for SRO (Standing Room Only) tickets to watch the game from behind that white line? Who does that? And I bet they really don't stay there.

Thirty minutes later, the rain stopped, the grounscrew folded up the tarp (not once, but twice because they needed a do-over.) And we made our way down toward the field-closer and closer and closer-5 rows from the field. Of course we had no camera but for the camera on the Razor phone.

Here are my observations:

• Evan Longoria is really good looking
• Jon Lester has a potty mouth
• The On Deck Circle is for looks only-it is way too close to the third baseline for anyone to actually stand there and take their chances
• Bud light is not really beer- I don't know what it is-but you know that song about Dirty Water?
• The vendors actually start at row number 1-every time. They jog all the way down and start at 1. Seriously.
• the first 2 rows are corporate rows-they get a server who takes their order.
• People who actually pay for those seats (not the losers who scurry down late in the game to sit in vacant seats) are actually very nice, respectful, but fun people.
• Jason Varitek received the largest applause every time he did anything
• The elderly Event Manager we chatted with had been waiting for Sunday's "Sweet Caroline" all weekend-which meant he would soon get to go home!
• PD's RBI to get the Sox on the board in the bottom of the 9th was received with a standing O. Fans just looking for a chance to cheer
• I didn't miss the high school/college mentality that joined our section in the 8th inning to jeer and poke fun at the opposing team who was kicking our butt-giggling like girls

Overall-the BEST seats we've ever scored at any ballpark, ever. So in spite of the fact the Sox lost, it was a fun day. Except for the Bud Light. yuck.

Awkward Moments

I am feeling a bit like maybe I forgot to shower today-except I didn't-but so far my interactions with strangers and former co-workers have left me feeling like I should just stay in front of my television in my sweats and not venture outside.

Naively, I am excited to see people I used to work with, or people I once knew-in any capacity. I usually make the assumption they will be happy to see me. But just as quickly that excitement turns to confusion when I get a cool response and a "well, then have a nice day." Which usually comes right after they ask me a few questions about my family and my job. Did I say something wrong? Or do people really not care what you are doing in your life-they are just being polite and want to be on their way. Unfortunately, I take it personally, and then spend the next several hours reflecting on what I said or did in my past that might be causing them to react in the way they do.

Awkward moment. I was so uncomfortably shy growing up, until I got to know someone fairly well. But then once I got to know them, I thought everyone was my friend. I still feel that way. my husband reminds me that most people are not your friends-and now I am beginning to believe him and it makes me sad. Were they ever my friends? Or were they just being themselves-here today, gone tomorrow; out of sight out of mind.

I pride myself in my loyalty-but sometimes that i s to a fault. It is sometimes difficult to let go and admit that when I randomly come across folks I used to be friends with, not everyone thinks of me the same way. They are nosy, sometimes curious-but only so they can go back and report to their "real" friends.

In spite of the awkward moments that might ensue-I will not ignore people who I used to know. That is who I am. If they do not respond to my cheery "Hello, how have you been?" Then maybe they have not been very well and they choose not to share. I do find it interesting that I do not hear from many of my friends unless I contact them.

I was watching the very cheesy movie "He's Just Not that Into You" last night, and maybe I should take a clue from the movie and move on. My real friends know who they are. I think.

2 Years of Blogging

But it is my third December blogging-although the frequency has certainly diminished, now that I can express myself in 140 characters or less, but the blog still reigns supreme. So here's what' new!



I use iGoogle to keep the blogs I follow organized-I have a page of Technology blogs I follow and a page of general news type blogs as well. It is one of the first things i do in the morning-whereas I used to read the newspaper, now I check Tweetdeck, iGoogle, THEN my email from my Blackberry. It's all about efficiency. Of course it is also about selecting which news to read-customizing the content that is delivered to my desktop electronically.



This year my daughter inspired me to organize my photos. Of course she uses Snapfish, I just organized mine into folders on my hard drive. I also am proud to say for the first time ever I created a photo Christmas card-something I have been wanting to do, well, since my kids were little-now I have grandkids. Sometimes it takes me a while to actually get around to doing stuff.



We have colored lights on our tree. All those years of matchy-matchy lights and decorations. The colored lights are quite nice, and we finally figured out how to put the tree in the stand so it doesn't topple over.



I have been working with a personal trainer for a year. Yesterday during my session we reviewed the year. I have gained weight. BUT-I am Advil free and able to deadlift a whole bunch of weight and my back and shoulders and neck feel great. It's hard not to step on the scales and get that sinking feeling. And the bowl of Lindt truffles next to the computer doesn't help.

I will finish with a quote from one of my tweeps:

"Your Lifeforce is tangible albeit fleeting in the face of time. However, our immortality lies in the progression of sharing, not harboring."

And so I share with you whoever you are. Happy season of light and darkness, of winter and solstice. Cheers!