To be or not to be......

So the other night I received a phone call...late....from one of our union representatives and I thought after I hung up the phone, "Wow, my career in this place has ended the way it began 13 years ago. THAT is really weird."

Some folks thrive on drama. The more drama the better. They create drama where none exists. If they walk into a room and people are chill, they make themselves noticed and bada bing....it's SHOW TIME. I love drama! But I want to A) either audition for a bit part in a community theater production at the local high school; or B) Go watch a masterful performance on or off Broadway and get my money's worth.

Did I mention I am going to be spending the week with some amature drama queens? It should be quite entertaining. I'm sure they think I will play whatever part they have me down for, so I am trying to decide if I will cave in to the pressure, or not. Maybe I will improvise. I'm sure, by now, I have been type cast into the typical "middle aged, nurturing, school teacher type, who can, occasionally be quite bitchy if things don't go her way or if she hasn't had enough sleep and/or coffee."

I am so over that. Seven years ago I was a brat. I was pouty and miserable and annoying. I would say, looking back fondly on that first year, there was a bit of a power struggle and an awkward getting to know you stage. My golf game was non existant, I had no idea what the plan was, I was expected to just go along for the ride. Who in their right mind would drive 17 hours to Myrtle Beach, arrive in the early morning hours, unable to check into a hotel, and then be on the tee ready to play at noon?

Followed by (are you ready for this?) getting up at 6am, rushing to breakfast and being told...we are leaving in 5 minutes! No time for waking up, no time for coffee....UGGGGH. By Wednesday, I had figured the plan out, on my own. I like to be in control. I lke to know what the plan is. Lesson # 1: If you want to know what the plan is...ASK!!

I am surprised they ever invited us back. I think it was because they like my husband. It is not often that people get a chance to reinvent themselves. I feel like I have a golden opportunity for an Academy Award type performance coming up, for the week, on into the future, perhaps. So for the week, I will be my usual charming self because I will not be comfortable enough with anybody to be let my guard down. A command performance! It can be done, because I have done it before. And we all know that when you act it and believe it, it becomes reality. So there you go. Be who you want to be.

The interesting twist is that the cast of this particular drama has been together for more than a dozen years.I am the new person, relatively speaking. Not only am I the new person, but now I am in a new role, separated from my partner, who tends to be a bit of a drama queen himself, although he would never admit it.

So what surprises will this year's Myrtle Beach production have in store? Stay tuned....an all new drama packed adventure has just begun. Will this season's show be a hit? Will the new girl fit in? Will there be any surprising twists? You will have to watch the show.

How Do You Do That?

So every week my one student comes to class with a list of questions for me. And we go through the questions, one at a time, until A) I either answer it and show him what he is looking for; or B) I tell him "That' s a new one! I will have to look into that and get back to you!" The people he works with think I have the answers to everything! I do not. I have very few answers...really, more questions than answers....

Every day someone in my world asks me some kind of random technology question. I have grown accustomed to it and I expect it. I like it. I like that I am helpful to people. I do not like that lately I have been impatient and annoyed. I am bothered that I can let outside influences affect me in such a way that I, in turn, pass some kind of negative energy on to the next guy.

So I am stating here and now that I will try to be a more positive, helpful person to those that are clueless. I will try to be more patient and kind. I will try...that's all I can do.

Maybe it is getting me used to working with 5 year olds, because lately, that's the way I am seeing adults. There are a lot of 5 year olds running around my building... Remember Robert Fulghum's All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten? Well it is true. Here you go just in case you forget:

• Share everything. (some adults really have not learned this... and some share WAY too much!!)
  
• Play fair. (All is fair in love and war)
  
• Don't hit people. (Especially when they are down..)
  
• Put things back where you found them. (Simple)
  
• Clean up your own mess. (Sometimes messes are big.. and involve other people)
  
• Don't take things that aren't yours. (This is called stealing...especially if you are not going to share...)
  
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. (Even if you don't mean to hurt them..)
  
• Wash your hands before you eat.
  
• Flush. (Kind of goes with cleaning up after yourself)
  
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. (All things in moderation...warm bread and cold beer works, too.)
  
• Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance

and play and work every day some. ( In that order, preferably)

• Take a nap every afternoon. (Even if it's with your eyes open)
  
• When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together. (You need someone to hold hands with, first....that's important.)
  
• Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
  Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we. (Slow down and enjoy your life...)
  
• And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.
• For more inspiration, visit www.robertfulghum.com

Get off the negativity bus..

PLEASE. Evidently I have turned a new leaf, and passed some kind of a test. I don't get it, really. I now see that there are those that seem to thrive on negativity. What a drain. I think I used to be one of those people. But now I'm not.

There is surprise and reaction...then there is only peace, because what else is there? What is, is..it doesn't matter why. Perhaps this translates to golf?

I love my new clubs by the way. I love the way they sit in my bag, and I have so many exciting choices to try! Should I use a 9 iron? A 7 iron? A utility wedge? Since I have only used them once, I have no idea! It's a wonderful surprise, really. This is why I did not keep score on paper yesterday, I only kept score in my head, and it was pretty high, but easy to remember. Seems I can hit the 9 iron about 100 yards. I should be able to hit my 7 iron about 120. The sand wedge needs a little softer touch. Oops. And do not try to fix something that isn't broken-. Hitting the fairway makes the game A LOT easier. My putting has improved a TON thanks to Torrey Pines Jordan...and now I remember which fingers I need to tape.

So, I have learned to be analytical when it comes to golf. Self-reflection is good. It is also good to talk to yourself on the golf course if you do not have a notebook. I used to think my husband was weird because he could remember every shot on every hole in detail. Not so weird. I now can focus on my shots, on the holes, and analyze each shot. My goal is to break 100 and drop my handicap by 10 points. Can I do it? Absolutely. But only with a positive attitude and focus. And peace.

So what is, is. Even in golf. You see once the shot is made, it's over. You cannot take it back, even though you would like a do-over. You can analyze the mechanics, try to correct the mistakes and make improvements, but you must move on to the next shot.

Having a negative attitude is DISASTER for your golf game..or any game. Let it go. Move on to the next shot. Stay focused on the goal, line up your shot,relax, breathe, take a practice swing,and watch your back. If you do these things you'll hit a great shot.

Movin' On

For real. So now the ego really wants to take over. This is the ultimate professional test....so far. How you handle the situations you have no control over determine how you handle life. I hope. It feels kind like jumping out of plane, knowing that somone else packed your parachute.

A friend of mine said it's like going on a trip....by airplane. You can prepare all you want, but once the plane leaves the ground you cannot control what happens while you are in the air. How true is that?

Maybe I need this. Maybe I need to take less crap and be with different people. Of course I don't think I need it right now. It feels like I am being forced to say goodbye, once again. It feels like everything I have worked so hard to accomplish in my professional career will be put in a box, on a shelf, so I can tie shoes and wipe noses. It is why I do not teach first grade.

I want someone else to teach them how to read and be students so I can get them already trained. I would not do well with a puppy, either. I am surprised my own children lived to be adults considering my lack of patience and frustration with little kids. Of course little kids and puppies love me! Of course they do!!

So maybe I need this, and it will teach me something. I am going to try to look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow. But it's hard when you go from college to kindergarten in the same year. How does that happen? I will stop questioning it, because who knows how anything happens anymore.

I will be moving on...again. I guess my job is done. It is not for me to decide, but that has to be okay. The plane has taken off, whether I feel I am ready or not. It is now heading down the runway. Hopefully I will get some in flight refreshment and have time to read up on my early childhood curriuclum before the plane lands.

Oh, and did I mention the plane is on a mystery flight?...destination unknown. The only one who knows where the plane will land is the pilot. I am no longer in control of the situation. I will let you know where we land.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Is God listening? Probably. And when unexpected things happen..it's probably because there is a BIGGER PLAN. Too bad I didn't know what it was. So I have a question for you. Are you the type of person who accepts fate and goes along with life and tries not to make the gods unhappy?
I am trying to be that person, but I may have reached the end of my rope.

I like to know all the answers AHEAD of time. I know what you're thinking..."But that's cheating!" You cannot know the answers ahead of time. You need to play the game first. To see how it all turns out. But the game is long...lifelong. And I am impatient...VERY. I like to make things happen. See the first paragraph. Unfortunately, I am not in charge.

• So be careful what you wish for.
• Do not say things out loud, apparently that really makes the gods angry.
• Remember the only thing you have control over is your body...so eat well, exercise, and take care of yourself.
• Be prepared...apparently for anything
• Embrace the unexpected opportunities life throws your way....you can either catch them and do something with them or let them knock you down :)

Give til it hurts

It's all about pain. Apparently. Hit the gym....give til it hurts. Hit the driving range, hit balls til your arm feels like it's gonna fall off. Push ups? Sit ups? Triceps? Weight lifting?I just do not know my body's limits, apparently. Go for a walk? Four miles, power walking, uphill, both ways.
Now I'm paying. The chiropractor loves to see me coming. "You're getting there," he says"You need to take it a little easy...not so aggressive, try walking....gently."

I do not do anything gently. It's all or nothing. Chiropractor equals pain. In spite of the many visits, because I could not stay away from the gym, my body is now in a constant state of sore. "Go get a massage," my friends say, "It will feel so good!"
I don't know...I've never had one before. "You've never had a massage? Get a massage." So I finally called, and a week later I went for my massage. I just love to pay for pain, evidently.
"Are you okay?" The therapist asks. I feel crunching and popping and muscles being attacked. "Most people would not be able to stand this their first visit." I think my body is used to it, I think. Just more pain, nothing new.
"Let me know if it gets to an 8 or a 9 on the pain scale," she says. I suffer through it, and don't really notice much difference. It's like I 'm addicted to the pain;I do not know what it's like to feel no pain.

"Do you remember when it all started?" Good question. Maybe it started when I was 7 and I took ballet lessons and I worked and danced and had to put my feet into those tiny little shoes with the wooden toe, protecting my baby feet with nothing more than pieces of lamb's wool. Or maybe it started when I was pitching a softball over home plate so fast the other team's coach asked my coach to ask me to please not pitch so fast. Or maybe it started when I played field hockey and pushed myself to lose twenty pounds over one summer, because I could.

Pain's got my number.

So it appears I will live in painful suffering until something gives. "It's your stress," the doctor says. "It's your shoulders," the therapist says. "Try acupuncture." More pain.
" Open the Chardonnay, I say. Tomorrow is another day. I'm getting used to it.

Are You Smarter than a 6 year old?

Well, that depends.....6 year olds, evidently, have a unique way of looking at life that we someohow have managed to forget. And 6 year olds today seem a lot smarter than when I was 6. Although, when I was 6 I can remember first grade as if it were yesterday. I had to walk down the hall to the third grade for reading class, because I was already reading beyond what a second grader could read. And we sat at little desks that were arranged in rows. Kids cried alot, and I couldn't read the word "stomach."I could ride a two wheeler, and my favorite toy was my Easy Bake Oven. But the light bulb got really hot with all those little metal pans.

Today's 6 year old has the vocabulary of a 30 year old, and the wisdom of a 50 year old. Today's 6 year old has the appetite of a grown boy, and really, really likes nectarines. Today's 6 year old doesn't have to think too long and hard about how to solve problems....you lose something? "Retrace your steps!" Want to kow how a mouse trap works? Stick your foot in it! Want to become Manager of Olympia Sports? No problem! Want to use a laptop and multitask, sure!Do you need a mouse? "Nope!"

I now know about Webkins. Even though they've been around awhile, I thought it was something for maybe, 9 and 10 year olds. Nope. 6 year olds can now navigate websites, without a mouse, and play arcade games, earn points which translate into dollars, and buy things for their virtual pets. Second Life for 6 year olds. Since when do 6 year olds know how to use a touch pad?

Oh, and by the way, writing notes? Not done on pieces of paper you fold up into shapes anymore. Notes are written on the computer. Of course! And Paint can be picked up in say, 5 miniutes.

Good thing I have a 6 year old to remind me 6 year olds aren't what they used to be. Some things haven't changed, though. 6 year olds still like goofy bed time stories, dirty faces, and they still like to fall asleep with the light on.