Figuring Out Where I Fit In

For six months I have not been in public education. I am counting, and that worries me-is it indicative of how long it feels like I have been away from home? I am not going back, but I am still counting the days I have been away. I am in a place that is new and foreign and a bit uncomfortable. On the one hand, it feels like I have been   here forever, but on the other hand there is no denying I am the "new girl". I am still trying to figure out how and where I fit in. It bothers me that I am not on the "inside" of conversations and events, that I am on a need to know basis. I am not sure if it is because I am new and people do not want to overwhelm me-but on the other hand they have little idea where I have come from and what I used to do. It is a fine line between doing your job as others perceive it, and doing the job you would like to do without stepping on everyone around you.

There has been much in the news about introverts recently-and now I know I am one of them. I'm pretty sure I am not an extrovert. So in my own way, on my own terms, I have to deal with making myself fit in and be recognized for my strengths, skills and abilities. I am bringing my education background, focus and connections to an industry that is providing a service for educators. They are much more experienced in their arena than I, but my piece to the puzzle is quite valuable-and many of them are not sure what it is and how it fits right now. Without being a braggart and a know it all, I guess I will have to continue to do my job, my way, and patiently allow things to develop over time in a non threatening way, to allow others the opportunity to expertly guide me to places I have already been.

I am my job

I had an aha moment yesterday when, in conversation with a few of my new colleagues, I was describing how it came to be that I left public education and came to work at my new job. And I found myself saying, this is me- it is who I am. The words just came out of my mouth and then I realized how powerful those words were.

For most, if not all, of my years in public education, I loved my students and I loved teaching, but I was considered a bit of a rebel, a renegade, because I taught from a philosophy and belief system that truly honored the individual child, situation, and circumstance unique to each learner. Yet, public education is all about conforming, and everyone receiving the same education experience. So for years I would teach, and think and believe, and hope that I could make a difference in the lives of individuals and I have no doubt that I did make a difference, but I grew tired- bone weary, really, and felt my life slipping away. Every day was an internal struggle, a fight, a battle against a seemingly insurmountable foe. Apparently I was getting pretty cranky.

And so now here I am, working for a company that truly values individuals, their health and well being; and, ironically, they value teachers and education by doing, not by saying. They live their mission. Don't get me wrong, there is still the battle of good vs evil, and I will take up my fight for the good, but I will be able to do it standing with my colleagues and my leaders, who are of the same vision and purpose. I used to say your job is what you do, not who you are. Today I can truly say, I am my job.

New Year, New Gig

Happy New Year! It has been almost a year since I have posted to this blog, and there is something to be said for making your self so crazy-busy you have no time to write, or breathe, or take care of yourself. But I am back.

In November I started a new adventure in Instructional Design for a local, very well known publishing company, and although it has only been 6 weeks, I find myself with time to think and wonder and explore again-as well as write. I have decided to keep this blog, but to write shorter posts, more often. I also have an Education-Technology Blog over at Edublogs: http://mrsbrophy.edublogs.com and I will be starting a new blog with quick, "How-To" posts for folks that just want to know, "How'd you do that?"

So there will be time for posting personal, fun stories-and yes I am still losing things, forgetting things, and plan to do more traveling, so that should be fun-as well as requiring the occasional need to vent without offending too many people. This will be the place for those posts.

If you want to hear how technology can and will change education for all learners, then head on over to Over The Tech Edge, and if you want to see what is coming next, well, you will have to check back in a day or two as I roll out my new blog.

Where else can you find me?

I am on

Twitter: @brophycat

Diigo: cebrophy

Flickr: cebrophy

Linkedin: Catheirne Brophy

Skype: Catherine