The voices of Christmas

Here is a ranodm collection of quips and quotes that typify Christmas 2008:

Do you have power yet? (Every day question up until about Tuesday)

The tree is really crusty..I think it's dead (for the past 2 weeks...as the tree branches droop slowly toward the floor)

I have a lot of skills....I have fire building skills (7 yr old Cole)

Let me see that, I have some more caulking to do (Cole, as he puts the finishing touches on the gingerbread house.)

Is your family as screwed up as mine? (One son in law to another)

Do you want to see my Hannah Montana Barbie?(3 yr old Kayleigh)

When did you shrink? (There will be a trip to the store to exchange pants..)

I got some more firewood in case you run out.(Cole as he drags a tree limb through the yard during the height of a blizzard Saturday morning)

Do you have any sour cream? (On the way home from Christmas Eve mass stopping at every, and I mean every convenience store from Dover to Stratham...no sour cream)

What is it? It's a french vanilla scented stuffed kitty dipped in wax. (Keep out of reach of flames!!)

People, you need to eat my baked goods!

Oh crap.....this needs to be refrigerated for 4 hours (an hour before dinner.)

Vanilla ice cream or whipped cream? Yes please!

This is the only Celics game I've seen this year( as the Celtics lose their third game of the season to the Lakers....)

This is the present of the year. (The new ipod nano)

How did you know? This is everything I wanted and needed. Imagine that!

You'll shoot your eye out, kid! (From The Christmas Story Marathon).

And just like that, Christmas 2008 was over.

Turn out the lights

I don't know about you, but I used to think I couldn't live without electricity connecting me to the world. It seems I can live, and survive, and maybe not really get used to it or like it, but if I had to do it long enough, I would figure out a system for accessing power for 3 hours a day and be happy. I recently got to experience no electricty for about 56 hours(with a 90 min break at hour 45). It did not kill me. I was bored to tears after the first 12 hours, but then I slowly gave in to the notion and instead of thinking about everything I couldn't do, I focused on what I could do.

Here's what I discovered:
1. I do need light..so candles or a fire, or a lantern are a necessity. I like the mood the candles and fire create, all warm and glowy. Cold and light is okay-cold and dark is not okay.

2. Warm water is a definite...so, thank goodness for the gas grill...or I would have had to create some sort of rig to heat water in the fireplace. I need to have warm water to wash....some things are just a necessity. Warm water followed by warm clothes, heated by the fireplace..

3. I can not over emphasize the power of fleece, down, wool and flannel. Oh, and Under Armour. This combination will maintain body temperature even in the most Arctic conditions. It's true.

4. Electricity means noise....lack of electricty means the absence of noise..and by noise, I mean all the background humming, and beeping, and whirring that we live with 24/7. No power means the natural sounds of living can be heard..both inside and outside, like the wind, like ice melting, like wood crackling and popping.

5. No power means quiet bodies, quiet minds....time passes slowly, in degrees,unhurried, measured in logs on the fire, pages turned, rows knitted. It takes approximately 1 hour to burn an apple tree log about 8 inches in diameter; it takes approximately 30 minutes for a fire burning in the firplace to raise the thermostat 1 degree; it takes approximately 1 hour to knit 16 rows and rip it all out again; and it takes approximately 1 hour to read 40 pages. It only takes a few minutes for eye squinting darkness to become total blackness.

6. 3 hours of power would be enough to satisfy me...an hour in the morning-time to shower, brush and check and send email; time to cook and clean, and time to charge the phone. An hour at midday would re-up the phone and pc juice....and provide the much needed cup of joe; And an hour in the evening would power up the pc for a couple hours of night time use, provide the necessary power to cook and clean up after yourself, and check and send more email.

7. Electricity not only powers light and heat and the Internet, but it creates work....light means tasks can be done deep into the night time darkness; power means dishes can be washed, clothes can be washed..which creates more work; power provides life to the computers, and ipods, and phones, making it necessary to do something with them- for if not to use, why do we have them?

8. Having no power levels the playing field-suddenly all the toys and gadgets are useless; no one has access to the Internet, and no one has real heat or hot water. There exists a calm sense of community with fellow man.

Now, 36 hours later here I sit, on the computer, with my lights on..cell phone beeping, computer whirring, refrigerator hummin, no fire burning, no candles flickering, just the smell of stale wood smoke hanging in the air. I am waiting to cook dinner, and then clean.Here I sit wondering how much laundry is waiting for me, wondering if I should go and turn on all the Christmas candles and lights, feeling as if I should be doing something, instead of relaxing, and listening to the sounds of a December night. I am lucky to be warm. There are many more who are not warm tonight. I wish my power on them.

Creativity cannot be learned..it is innate

If you are an American, born and raised and educated in American schools, AND you think you are creative (which you probably are) you can thank your parents and your teachers and AMERICA. America, in spite of all you hear and read about, still is the richest, most creative country in the world-by a long shot.
But are we globally competative?

If you want to maufacture and export the most toys? Then no....that would be China. But I thought we wanted to compete with China?

Check out http://www.worldmapper.org/ to see for yourself how the US stacks up against its fiercest competitors and global rivals.

I just got back from attending the 2008 Christa McAuliffe Technology Conference in Nashua, NH, and Dr. Yong Zhao, from MSU, was the keynote speaker on Wednesday. He was good. Very good.

Technology has redefined talent. If you don't believe me, how do you explain someone selling an authentic Michigan Maple Leaf on ebay?? Better yet, how do you explain someone buying it?

How do you explain Chines goldfarming? Oh, yes, let's compete with China. Isn't that what good test scores will get us? Ask American teens what gold farming is and it is old news. This documentary was on MTV in 2006. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho5Yxe6UVv4

And how do you explain the fact that our BIG 3 automakers are seriously living in pre historic times when compared to Toyota, Honda and Nissan. I think we need some young talent running the show in Detroit. Granted, Henry Ford did invent the automobile, but technology has redifined the talent needed to manufacture automobiles. The assembly line is dead.

Our kids are moving from being consumers of multimedia to producers and creators of that same multimedia. How else can you explain youtube? Kids create the media they want to watch. Would you rather hire someone or work with someone who knows how to memorize facts and write fast or click fast, or someone who knows how to collaborate, create a storyboard, manilpulate video equipment, edit video and audio, and share his creation with the world? Or perhaps someone who can solve a multi layered problem never seen before? Or someone who can invent a new solution or device to solve a global problem or fill a global need?

Technology has redefined talent. But does it help raise test scores?
According to a study released in April, 2007, classrooms who used software scored no better on tests than classrooms that only had teachers. So what is the message? That relatively inexpensive software can perform as well as a classroom teacher....

Technology redefines a whole new category of disabled individuals..those who can and those who can't. Those who look good on HDTV and those that don't. Before television, looks didn't matter, right?

So do we want to go back to teaching facts and skills in isolation, and challenging students to be the best? Russia is moving ahead of the US (1950's). We need to keep up with Japan (1970's). We must be competative with China! And India!(1990's). There is absolutely no correlation between Math and Science test scores and the global economy and creativity as measured by the number of registered patents. Read Daniel Pink's "A Whole New Mind" if you don't believe me...http://www.danpink.com/wnm.html

Dr. Yong Zhao can say it best; Download this podcast and be enlightened!
http://nlcommunities.com/communities/alannovember/archive/2007/11/21/156147.aspx

It's been a quiet week

I realized today I can go through the day saying very little....if the right (or wrong) people aren't around. I could probably go through the work day saying absolutely nothing. Some folks might think I'm stand-off -ish, or even snobbish, or aloof, but really, I am not all that comfortable starting up a conversation with someone I do not know all that well...usually.

I was shy as a child, lacking confidence and not very independent. I usually traveled in a pack, trying really hard not to draw attention to myself. Who needs that? I still cringe at having to walk down the street by myself, walking as if I had a purpose. Having my number called at the deli? Hearing my name called in a restaurant? Raising my hand to ask a question or to give a comment in a large group? UGGGGH! Then there's going to a party by myself, or going to a restaurant and having to eat by myself....no thank you, I'd rather just crawl out the door and hope nobody notices.I'm surprised I'm here to tell about it. I feel each and every time as if I might die of self consciousness.

So, to go through the day trying to act inconspicuously and invisible is not all that unrealistic.

I have tried to overcome my self consciousness and insecurity over the years, with varying degrees of success. I don't like change, I don't like strangers, I don't like new people. There, I said it. So when I found out I would be sharing my office/copyroom/corner with a window view, I acted oh so positively, because I am a really great actress.I have learned that if I act confident and independent and smart and perky, everyone will think that's how I am! Surprise! Will the real professional please stand up?

But every now and then I surprise myself. There are some people that just simply walk into my comfort zone as if they were there all along. Together we chat, we laugh, we create an energy that is more than the sum of its parts. It is not often, and it is not natural, for me anyways,trust me. My part time office partner is everything I am not-filled with confidence, exuberance, and charm. She is chatty with everyone, could hold a conversation with a goat, and makes everyone around her happy. She could probably do that by herself. Not me.

She is on leave at the moment, and it is really, really quiet in my little corner without her. I am the quiet one, by myself. I guess I can accept that without her there I am not much fun. I am back to being the quiet, serious unassuming one. What can I say? I am quiet and thoughtful when one needs quiet and thoughtfulness. And I will do what I have to do to get the job done...even if it means going solo occasionally. Thank goodness for chatty, social people. They make our days brighter and our worlds richer.

Ok, I Get It

Hit me over the head with a hammer, I get it. Some lessons I pick up pretty quickly, it's a breeze. Other things, like the big things, not so. And once learned, I need refresher courses, or I slip back into my pre-lesson ways. Why is that? Just another question that has no apparent answer.
So if you want advice, although you may have figured this out already, take it from someone who is persistently trying to figure out if there's an easier, faster, better way.


There are no mistakes- I learned this from Kung Fu Panda. If you mess up, it's probably a direct or indirect result of some action you took (see above) trying to take the easy way out. You can never say, "I really didn't mean to do that," because what you really meant is, "I didn't think before I did that."

There are no short cuts- See above. A short cut means taking the easy way out; and not experiencing what you were meant to experience taking the full blown tour. Like taking an exit to avoid a traffic delay and getting to a dead end. Like taking steroids.

No cutting corners-The corners are the best part-that's where all the details lie-if you cut corners, then really you are not square any more, you are a circle. And we all know what happens when you start spinning inside a circle, there is no way out. This is almost like no shortcuts, but not really.

Actions speak louder than words-this has been around forever, and its true. Enough said.

The Journey is the Destination- It really is. It's all about the journey, not getting there first. If you don't slow down, you are going to miss what' s hiding out in the corners of that square. It is truly all about slowing down and living each moment the way it was meant to be.

Live on the edge-A life with no edges is a circle, and even though life is metaphorically a circle, it is also about edges. To experience all life has to offer, you must take it to the edge, without going over the edge. It's called working out, not wimping out. It's called getting to all 4 corners. It's called occasionally slipping over the edge, but working your ass off to climb back on and do it all over again.

Life is hard-taking the easy way out may seem like a good idea at first, but it brings you right back to where you started, quickly. .Like going to the gym and cutting out with 2 crunches left; or stopping your run with 30 seconds left on the clock. No pain, no gain, remember that?
Life is hard because of the lessons we have to learn. Life is hard because the consequences of our actions sometimes mean starting over again. The good news is, you always have the ability within you to make it happen if you trust in yourself.

So remember this when you are preparing to cook your Thanksgiving meal:
Nobody likes cold mashed potatoes-heat them thoroughly; nobody likes pumpkin rolls sans sugar- slow down and read ALL the ingredients before popping something into the oven; nobody likes runny whipped cream-whipping cream takes patience; but most of all, truly take the time to enjoy the table, the food, the family, the friends, and the day-no matter what happens.

For those of you who cannot be with your families....life is hard. There are no short cuts. It will all be worth it.

Give Me My Space

So the women in our family (as well as the men) have been sharing stories lately....and have found some common ground.
"The women in this family are tough, Gerry!"
"I know it."
My poor son in laws got married and thought they would have, I don't know, a housewife, maybe? Little did they know, houses do not need wives. I remember cringing hearing the gospel reading preaching "Wives, obey your husbands." Are they serious?
I used to think my daughters were stubborn and difficult..now I understand where they get it from....and it does not stop with me, nor does it stop with my mom or my grandmother. It runs all the way to the Clark family that came off the Mayflower.
It does run in the family.
We need our space.
"What does that mean, exactly?" Any man that even needs to ask that question should be beaten. The fact that he even needs to ask that question requires some serious reflection.
I need my space means "I NEED MY SPACE."
Relax, it does not mean permanently, it just means right now, this instant..go away and do not make me have to look at you.
The men think we are mean, unaffectionate, and not very nice. What it really means is we are not needy-we do not need men hovering over us to make us feel important or special or smart. We do not need men to make us feel worthy of respect, of love, of admiration.
We are not mean or unaffectionate, we are independent. It started when we were 3 years old, I think. We were encouraged to play with the boys, keep up with the boys, be tough, and shake it off. There's no crying in baseball, remember?
My grandmother was extremely tough, and her mother before her. I never knew my great grandfather, but tough women usually marry great men. If they're not great, they leave because they whimp out. You know what they say, when the going gets tough the tough get going.
We teach men how to stand on their own two feet, in essence, we teach men how to be independent, too! Then everyone is happy. It is a long process, however, and one that does not yield overnight results. The boys are learning this the slow, painful way. But they are in luck. They are in good company. Now give me my space. Please.

Seriously, One day I WILL wake up blonde

So does anyone else have these moments? Besides blonds, I mean. Or maybe it's just lack of pigment in the hair follicles that create vacuous voids somewhere deep in the brain..where focus becomes critical. Every so often it becomes very apparent that I either should have been born platinum, or, that day is coming soon. All the signs point in that direction. Just read my posts and you will see....

This week was particularly flakey. There were moments of lost notes, misplaced files, impulsive thoughts and behaviors, and well, just about everything in between..with it all coming to a....well, you know what I mean....on Friday.

I think I try to take on too much. Let me do it! I can help! The only problem is I am saying that to everybody, and I have a problem with underestimating how long it takes to get stuff done.

Monday was a lost day because I underestimated how long it would take to write and submit a grant. Tuesday was a lost day because it was a day off..and well, there was shopping. I should have been shopping for food, but I played and then shopped, but not for food. Wednesday was really like Monday, except it was Wednesday. I made the novice mistake, in my hurry, and used a cached email address that did not work to send an all staff email. No one arrived at my Technology Class in the afternoon, because nobody remembered to come, becasue my email has still not been delivered.

Thursday....only two days left in the work week...with a day jam packed with appointments and communication, followed by a workshop in the afternoon that did not go according to plan. Technology happens. That could be a blog in itself. Vista, administrative rights, xp, projectors, wireless connectivity....you get the point.

And then there was the traffic...it finally happened..an accident snarling commuter traffic over the infamous General Sullivan Bridge. Needing to get to my hair appointment an hour early, because I cannot say no, I found myself making wrong turn after wrong turn in an idiotic attempt to get across Great Bay without going over the bridge. Blonds must be impatient, too. What was I thinking? If only I had had a boat. I made it to Greenland at the originally appointed time....not a minute sooner, an hour and a half after sitting in traffic. So from there I decided to go to the mall instead of the grocery store....impulsive decision that only earned me more blond points.

So then Friday dawned, and I started my day with an adventure at Staples trying to pick up a chair I paid to have assembled. They couldn't find it. They brought me the floor model and decided to give me credit. Which they couldn't figure out how to do because I used my Staples Rewards Certificate. But I helped them....this was not a blond moment..do I earn credit for that? But then I ran out of working hours. I arrived at work to find my laptop keyboard had a mind of its own...I somehow failed to save my school board report, I forgot my lunch...but then realized I didn't forget my lunch..I just forgot I brought my lunch. And so the that is how the day started. Before I knew it, it was afternoon. I still had to get to a grocery store..procrastination is a terrible thing, and figure out how to make a spinach dip and get to my party place on time, which was early, because I said I would.

Shopping....I quickly grabbed what I needed, but had the feeling I was forgetting something. Drove to Mom's house all the while thinking..I am so unprepared..I brought nothing! I brought a pan and a spatula and a sponge in a box. How is this going to work? I pulled in the driveway and opened the passenger door. CRASH! The Barefoot Chardonnay exploded onto the driveway, still in the bag. In the house, up the stairs, to the stove, chopping the onions and green peppers, melting butter and Velveeta..ready for the main ingredient...CRAP! I forgot the spinach! Quick, think...Janetto's has frozen spinach! Back down the stairs, in the truck (I did turn off the oven before I left) to the store and back and now I know I will not be early. I am afraid to look in a mirror..because I am feeling blonder by the minute.

I finally manage to get everything made, cleaned up and packed and arrive at the party..not too early I can tell you that. As I hauled in the goods, and unpacked the party supplies, my friend asked, "Did you get plates?"
"Plates? Did I say I was getting plates? I didn't get plates? I can get plates! Janetto's has plates! I'll be back!" The ladies at Janetto's know me by now...

So that' show it went...and I'm afraid I am losing whatever brain cells I have left. I am surprised I can remember my own name or where I live. This year was supposed to be simpler..I was going to simplify my life. I'm not exactly sure how to do that....So for now,I will try to do a better job managing my time...and making lists. I just need to remember where I put the lists and when I find them, remember why they are important so I don't thow them away.

1 Year blogging Anniversary!

So remember a year ago when I returned from presenting at a national conference in Houston? I decided to start blogging..to share my stories, and fun and adventure. Sometimes the blogs have been reflective, sometimes, reminiscent, and sometimes very random. But, nonetheless, here we are a year later still blogging, for better or for worse.

This weekend? Another adventure. On tap? A trip to NJ to visit our daughter, who, apparently, because she is now engaged to be married, has decided to move to the Lone Star State come May. And I thought I would never have to go back to Houston again! The sacrifices we make for our children.... anyways, back to the adventure.

Central Park, Tavern on the Green, walking the streets of NYC in the rain...I mean, rain dripping off my nose, off my forehead. "We still have 10 blocks to go! I refuse to walk into the Tavern dripping wet!"I have never seen so many umbrellas in my life. Everybody had an umbrella..except for us, of course. We walked up Broadway past the M and M Experience Store, past MTV, past Times Square and the new red carpeted steps to nowhere , past ABC Studios, past the Fashion District...stopping under every overhang we saw. It was not going to stop raining. So we dashed across the street and hailed a cab outside The Brooklyn Diner, and off we went..dripping wet all over the leather seats. NYC cabs are nice! GPS, commercials, where's the Cash Cab when you need cash?

We arrived at our destination: Tavern on the Green in Central Park. I heard there's a zoo in Central Park- I think we found it. They collected our jackets "We do not allow coats hanging of the backs of chairs." We tipped the lady handing out paper towels in the bathroom. And then we were escorted to our seats under the most garish green crystal chandeliers, I have ever seen. Several tables were festooned with balloons...I get it, we're in the party room! Baby showers, birthday parties, tucked in between romantic couples, and elderly ladies doing lunch. Loud and crowded and hectic. This was not what I imagined. And what about all those coats and baby bags hanging over their chairs?The baby shower ended with screaming, crying children, and in came the walker brigade! Two tables set up for a 90th birthday party...elderly and deaf..more yelling. Ahhhh!

So our very expensive lunch experience came to an end and we decided to walk a bit in the park. for about 10 minutes. Until it started to pour again. "Taxi!" Why is that doorman laughing at us? He was on the inside, looking out..as we hailed another cab. back to Penn Station. Have you ever seen cattle being herded through a gate? This is how stampedes get started. Do you know what happens when crowds of people go down an escalator then STOP at the bottom instead of keeping pace with the speed of the elevator? Fortunately, disaster was averted.

Back to Westfield to shop in my favorite Houston store for some new jeans, and then back to Park St. to look at photos of what else...Houston! Ah, well, At least I know how to get to the mall.

It is the little things that count

Even when you don't know it. Even when you think you are part of the furniture, blending in nicely with the copy machine/fax/scanner. As my officemate so eloquently puts it, "we are the bastard offspring nobody wants to admit are theirs." Which is why I love being in the same room with her!

And, evidently, we are the talk of the office....who knew people actually come into the copy room so they get to hang out in the "Positive Energy Parlor"-No, I can't take credit for making that one up, either. But there you have it. We actually moved someone to tears today, because they were so happy that we actually were nice people that laughed, and talked, and had fun, but not at the expense of others. I guess I thought everyone was like that!?I can be so naive. Either the people I work with are all very good at acting, or in some small way, my presence has made a positive difference.

Happiness spreads, and kindness and good deeds are healers of a lot of bad things. You never really know what someone is going through, or has gone through, for that matter, especially if you are the new kid. My approach is simple: Be nice to everyone if you possibly can. It' s hard sometimes, but you never know what trauma or heartache they may have endured in some past life. I guess I absolutely take for granted being polite, being nice, kind, compassionate and friendly. Sometimes I feel downright bitchy...but who needs that? Usually, by the time I smile and ask, what can I do to help? Or say, "I'm sorry, that sucks," I have forgotten all about my own misery.

So there you have it. Who knew the "Positive Energy Parlor" would be a magical place where people come to bare their souls and vent and complain and swear...and hear laughter. I can't help it. Sometimes things just crack me up. So when someone says, "I haven't laughed in the longest time..." don't take it for granted. Your smiles and compassion are contagious, and they do make a difference to someone..probably every day. You just may never know it.

This is for all those weirdos they can't hide away, not even in the copy room. Keep on smilin'.

Thoughts of Helen Keller

Lately, I have the tendon to testify to it. Too many words popping off my keyboard, my keypad, texting, typing, clicking here, clicking there. What would happen if it all stopped? Would I suddenly be thrown into a world of silence? Cut off from the mainstream...friends, family?

What if you had no keyboard, or no phone even..no cell phone, that is? I think back to my first 2 days at my new job when I had no Internet access. I had no phone that synced with email, because I had no email. I had no office mate-I was alone, in a room, at a desk. And I went wild, absolutely wild!

Yet on the weekends, especially Saturday, silence is my solace. I wake up, I brew my joe, I read the newspaper..the REAL newspaper. I turn on television, and I may look for a movie to escape into while I wake up and unwind from a harried week at work. At work, I need to type, and communicate, all day long. There are emails, and schedules, and how to documents, and brochures, and budgets and grants. There are phone calls, and texts, and more emails. While all that is happening the office is a constant ebb and flow of administrative staff faxing and photocopying and shredding and sharpening. There is idle chatter and laughter; there is constant communication. I am there but I am not there...I am somewhere inside myself and with the help of my technology I am able to keep it all running smoothly, efficiently, for the most part, like a machine. But what happens when one thing stops working as it should?

All communication can break down. The efficiency with which all the parts of the machine operate is not miraculous, but it works. When something stops, you might as well pack it up and go home. How does work get done? If there is no ability to communicate electronically, there is a paralysis of the system. Just as any machine requires the system to be in fine working order, so does work. When one piece of the system stops...soon, other parts can no longer function as they should.

We have become so dependent on a system driven by bits of data traveling through pipes and tubes, a system that is central to our ability to communicate effectively..even beyond the walls of the workplace I wonder if we are losing our ability to reach out and communicate with real people, face to face? Every now and then I get this sinking feeling that perhaps this is truly where we are heading. In one sense it is insanely simple to reach out and communicate electronically with people you have not seen for months or years, even. But on the other hand, doesn't it lend a false sense of connectedness when you can send mass emails to dozens of friends, or leave electronic notes on a friend's wall? When what is really happening is you are sitting somewhere, with your machine and your keys, fingers flying and clicking, by yourself, in silence. And when you sign off or hit send or submit or save; and when you shut down or close the lid and go into hibernation, you are as you were.

There is no real communication without a face, without human interaction. There are messages, relayed. Communication requires someone to listen and someone to respond, if only with a look or a sign. How do you sign electronically? It is time to step away from the keyboard out of the darkness. It is time to go live. How do you want to communicate?

Gas Wars

I truly do not try to step into the path of controversy and oncoming traffic, like trains, but somehow that' s where I often find myself standing-about to get hit by a bus.

It all started on All Hallow's Eve....on our way to meet up with some ghosts and goblins and one stray but very cute head butting sheep. Oh, and let's not forget Spongebob. "I'll drive!" I said, because I could sense the lack of enthusiasm for the adventure. 'Do you even know where we're going?"
'Of course! I looked it up on Google Maps! Easy!" I grabbed us a joe to go, and some cheese and crackers(it was, after all, dinner time and I could sense a little crankiness seeping in) and off we headed to trick or treat.
"You'r e gonna get gas, right?"
"No, I'm good, we'll get gas along the way...I just read it's like 2.09 in Newmarket!"
I got "THE LOOK."
"You'll never make it!"
"Of course I will! Once the light goes on I have at least 10 miles..I've never had to go further than that, so...."
And so we went, through the curving winding quickly darkening streets, out to the country. Further than I thought, but no light yet.

What a blast! It was like Trick or Treat Central! Hundreds of cars lining the side of the development, where hundreds of families with babies, strollers, wagons and glow sticks wandered aimlessly from decorated house to decorated house, filling up bags of candy. The Pink Power Ranger had run out of power and was sitting comfortably in the front seat of the double barreled stroller exclaiming to everyone she was done because too much candy wasn't too good for you.

Spongebob was on autopilot. Hesitant at first, he became a master of ringing doorbells and holding out his candy bag. The sheep was revolting, screaming and thrashing wanting to do her sheepie wandering. All 25 lbs of her needing to be hauled, while trying to avoid being head-butted. "All she needs is a lollipop and she'll quiet down. "
"Give her the glow stick!"
"Nope, tried that, she ate it." Her sheepish face was smeared in sticky, gooey, purple fruit snack, her sheep fur stuck to her fingers. The scariest one, all dressed in black with a freakishly scary mask (who knew he used to be scared of masks?) figured out his mom would hold his bag, and all he had to do was walk up to houses with his bare hands...and beg politely for a treat-"He's so lazy!"

But back to the real storey....Trick or Treat ended when the scariest one declared, "I'm done!" And we all headed back to our vehicles. "Are you gonna get gas now?"
"I will..on the way home. What do you want to do for dinner?"
"It doesn't matter to me!"
And so off we went, back to civilization, looking for eats and gas. Well, I kept driving, the light came on and Mr. Cranky Pants was getting irritated. "You're not gonna stop for gas, are you?"
"I can make it. I 'll get gas in the morning, first thing."
"You'll forget."

A quick stop at Margaritas for fajitas, then home. No gas tonight.

PART 2

SO, when I was finally ready to head out the next day, I decided to drive North for gas. The light was definitely still on, but every time I went around a corner, it went out...that's a good sign! I can definitely make it 7 miles.
I must admit, I was getting just slightly uneasy, but iIthought to myself...I am not far from home IF I run out of gas, it is just a short walk to civilization....
As I approached the main drag I had to stop at a red light. I noticed the gas station across the street was somewhat busy. I was straining my neck, trying to read the sign. "Does that say 2.03? It can't possibly say 2.03 Gas is NOT 2.03 a gallon. I was having an honest to goodness out loud conversation with myself by now.

I decided that whatever the price, I would get across the street for gas. There was a slight problem. Cars, trucks and vans were starting to line up..but there was nowhere to get in line. The angle of the pumps prevented more than 2 vehicles from waiting in line. I decided to circle around and enter the first pump from the opposite side, and so as not to block traffic I pulled up behind another pickup. I turned off my vehicle to save the embarrassment of running out of gas at the pump.

I hope this guy is actually in line! It was kinda hard to tell...with the angle we were at. Suddenly, from the opposite direction comes a very large, old folks car..like giant Buick or Lincoln or something..pulling right up behind the two cars at the pump we were waiting at. You need to understand my co-waiter and I left a traffic lane..and we did not anticipate getting cut off from the other side. Oops.

You never know what will send someone over the edge...It was a guy in the truck in front of me, and he was clearly offended by the Buick. He started ranting and raving, and approached my window. "Can you believe these *&&^&&^?"
"No problem," I could really care less. "They are not gonna get away with this!" I could sense a readiness for battle. And so it began. GAS WARS.

And my little friend was going to battle over me, apparently. All I cared about was getting my gas and getting out of there alive. Which I managed, somehow to do...only after I needed to maneuver myself out of the way of a very large gasoline tanker truck who was trying to get past the Buick. The Gasoline Warrior kept up his brave battle til the bitter end, boxing out the Buick, allowing me to pull ahead of the line and fill m tank for like 33.00! By now I had elected the strategy of NO EYE CONTACT-with anyone. As quickly as I could, I filled 'er up and maneuvered my way out of Dodge...

As I circled back by the OK Corral, I had my cell phone out, ready to take a picture of the sign with the price....and as I looked I couldn't believe my eyes. In the time it took for GAS WARS, the price had risen to 2.09 a gallon. The Gas Warrior had succeeded in some kind of moral victory, as he had forced the Buick to wait until the price went up 6 cents a gallon. But still....2.09? Not a bad day's work. And definitely worth going to war over.

It's A Boy Thing

I am surrounded, it seems. Every time I turn around...boys. It suddenly occurred to me as I answered the knock on the door to yet another pack of boys, that there is a disproportionate ratio here....or maybe it's just that the boys make themselves noticed more. I suddenly find myself trying to communicate with the male species on a fairly regular basis, which is odd, considering I am working in a field predominantly occupied by women. But my role separates me out and I somehow feel like a magnet.

Case in point. I need support for my technical problems...and they are at my beck and call. I only need hit the submit button on my computer to request assistance and the phone rings. Usually I end up helping them see that I am the only one that can truly solve my problem. But they like to try. Tech workshops? Male teachers...some of whom have showed up every time. They hang on my every word as if I somehow hold the key to all things magical and wonderful.

Tech committee? Tech work groups? Maybe it's the word "Tech." I honestly did not anticipate the exuberance and zeal with which they would come calling. It somehow feels odd, being the female that holds the answers to their questions. What about my questions?

Oh, and might I add it's all ages...young, old, and in between. Where did they all come from? Perhaps it's because I came from a very different world, but I am surprised at the integrity and genuine enthusiasm as well as manners. These boys of all ages are actually polite and considerate, thoughtful and willing to learn and change and grow.

As the second pack of adolescent trick or treaters left my porch exalting in the Reese's and Kit Kats, they exclaimed,"It's our favorite! Happy Halloween! Hey put that back!.." As they admonished each other for being greedy. Dad's with babies, "Hi, we're your new neighbors!" I am besieged with flashy, toothy grins, an occasional wink, and a willingness to be on their very best behavior. Are they trying to impress me? Well, so far it's worked.

Maybe it's because for so long my expectations have been so low, and I have been cloaked in a shroud of darkness and doubt; now I am finally coming out int o the light again, and able to see and appreciate the good that is everywhere. A smile and a happy face go a long way....It is easy to smile now.

The Field of Dreams

Walking out onto the plush, green, plastic grass, my footsteps disappear-there is no sound. The sun is at my back, high on the edge of the golden, brown leaves, blazing a path that runs toward the goal line. Softly I walk toward the bench and there is no sound. The stands are empty, cold and gray, waiting to spring to life. The score board is black, wiaiting to come to digital life. The lights remain off, towering high above the trees. No need to make a call to Iowa today, it will all be over before darkness falls.

I walk toward the bench, sitting in the late afternoon shadows, and I feel a chill at my back. In spite of the sun's warmth, it is going to get chilly, quickly. I lean back and listen to the silence...for a few more minutes, my face searching for the sun's sinking rays. The field is expansive, green, and silent, waiting for the whistle that will signal the beginning for one team, the beginning of the end for another. It is a field of dreams. The final home game of the season. In just minutes the switch will ignite the scoreboard, counting down the 25 minutes before the game begins.

As the home team makes their way to the end line to begin their dynamic stretching, they are relatively quiet. There is idle chit chat and nervous laughter, but it is not loud. They are not confident or cockey. They are at the same time nervous and excited and edgy. I am finding it hard to sit still, watching silently from my bench. but I stay seated for a few more minutes, basking in the late afternoon glow on this field of dreams.

Living in the moment

I almost forgot. But then I remembered. How easy it is to get caught up in what happened in the past or what hasn't yet happened. How easy it is to go through the motions, to try to prevent the rats from winning the race. It is too easy to not pay attention, to easy to be too busy, too easy not to notice the small details. And so it is important to remember the most important time is now...the most important one is the one you are with, and the most important thing is to help the one you are with. It is easy to forget if you're not careful....So whatever happens, happens..some things are simply beyond our control. Take pleasure in being in the moment....the moment is the journey, the journey is the moment.

We were there.

It's the season for Fall TV. Are you ready for some football? It's a time to look back and reflect on the year, as we head into the final stretch.The Red Sox are done..defeated brilliantly by the young upstart Tamp Rays..the 'new" rival. Remember the big Tampa Bay brawl at Fenway Park early in the season? Coco rushed the pitchers mound and ended up on the bottom of the pile. What ishappening? Get out your phone! Take a picture! This is great! Who knew that bench clearing brawl would foreshadow the October rivalry...who knew that fracus would be replayed over and over and over again on TBS (they suck) and ESPN, and NECSN(My favorite)Did you know we were there?

Do you remember the first game the Patriots lost in like forever? Actually, since they played the Miami Dolphins in Miami last December, 2007....remember that game? Remember Tom Brady? I can tell you we were sitting at the top of the stadium, in the 80 degree sunshine, and we couldn't believe our eyes....yep..we were there!

Remember the last regular season game of the football season..December 29, 2007: Pats vs. Giants at Giant Stadium? The Pats were down..we were fearing for our lives and thinking bad karma..let's get outta here ..when from the parking lot we heard the stadium erupt in cheers...Patriots fans!!! We were there!! Well, we were actually in the parking lot, does that count?

And who can forget the US Open at Torrey Pines in June? Tiger Woods' last tournament of the year...hitting from the cart path over my head, onto the green of the first hole...on in 2.Who can forget the epic playoff with the relatively unknown Rocco Mediate? We were there....close enough to get pictures of Rocco..close enough to get buzzed by Tiger's golf ball as it wooshed over the gallery's heads.

They are auctioning off pieces of Yankee Stadium....what' s left? That place, steeped in history...layers of chipping paint, concrete, and gritty NY trash. Who knew? Maybe I should've left my mark...maybe I should have grabbed a souvenir. Perhaps I can get a price for my ticket stub on Ebay....Yankee Stadium...The Final Season... we were there.

Hold the rope...

This is not an original story...but one that goes back thousands of years. If you were hanging from the edge of a cliff by a mere rope..who would you trust to be holding the other end of that rope? If you can say the names of one or two of your very best friends who you would trust with your life....well, then that would not be enough. Read the following story:

"Every year a professional basketball team wins the championship. Every year a college basketball team wins the NCAA title. Every year the best high school team in Division A on down wins the state crown. All these teams have one thing in common. No matter how tough it became throughout their season they did one thing---they held the rope!

What is “holding the rope”? Imagine that you are hanging from the edge of a cliff with a drop of twenty thousand feet. The only thing between you and a fall to your death is a rope with the person of your choice on the other end. Who do you know that has the guts to pull you to safety? Who will hold the rope? Who do you know that is going to let that rope burn his hand and no let go? How many people you know are going to withstand the burning pain and watch the blood drip from their hands for you?

If you can name two people; that is not good enough, because those two people might not be around when you need them. The next time your team is together, look around and ask yourself; who could I trust to hole the rope? Who is going to let their hands bleed for me? When you can look at every member on your team and say to yourself that they all would hold the rope, you are destined to win a lot of ball games. You see, the team that holds the rope when the going gets tough is winners. When you are down by four points with thirty seconds to go, don’t give up. Yell at your teammates to hold the rope, let it burn, but don’t let go.

Every year there are winners and losers in all sports. Every year the winners hold the rope. You don’t have to be the best team on the floor to win the game. If you play with poise and do what your coaches ask of you and most of all---hold the rope---you will be successful. No matter what sport you play, in order to win, you have to have a commitment to your team. If you are supposed to run three times per week, do it. If you have to lift weights three times per, don’t miss. Once you start letting up at practice or start missing your workouts, you’ve killed the team because you didn’t hold the rope.

Don’t let your team down. You’ve got to hold the rope!"

Hold the rope...a metaphor for life....

So it really feels good to be blogging again. Apparently, I have alot to say. "Has anyone ever called you Chatty Cathy?"

So I have decided to pay attention more to the smaller details in life...to be more observant about things when I am in the moment. Like today I noticed that on my way to work each morning, I am on the road with the same vehicles. One vehicle in particular, an orange VW bug, with a very unique license plate...today I noticed. And I thought, I wonder how many other people are going in the same direction as me. And I wonder where everyone is going? Where the heck are all these southbound people going? Where do they work? And why is the bridge so crowded between 7:30 and 8am every morning? I wonder if the bridge is congested after 8? Or before 7? All very good questions....don't you think?

I am a procrastinator. I know that about myself. it is the one thing I need to really work on because it can be annoying and makes me frantic. I also think it's because I'm a control freak, and by procrastinating I am trying to control the inevitable. I want things to be on my terms, in my time zone. It is not okay, and it is rude. So I am really going to try to be timely and on time. I swear.

My last thought is about how annoying it is to have the MLB playoffs on TBS. Who are they anyways? And who are the annoying sports commentators who apparently know nothing about any of our teams? It's just not right. I miss my NESN boys. There's just too much objectivity. It is boring me to tears. I think I will turn my television to mute and turn on wrko Shaws radio network. I do not need someone describing what I am watching. Tell me stories, make me laugh, make me think. DO not bore me...please.

So that's all for now. I'm still waiting for my power cord to arrive or appear so I can import my itunes library. See what I get for procrastinating? If I had done this back in May, I would not have misplaced the powercord. I would be listening to my Mama Mia soundtrack on my Bose, enjoying life. Until tomorrow....

Random Thoughts

You knew this day was coming! All the random shit that' s been spinning around upstairs has nowhere else to go except here. SO here you go.

Every day when I wake up and get ready to get into my little red truck to drive to work, it never once dawned on me until today that I actually drive through at least two climate zones. And I have been caught unprepared. Today, for example, where I live it's balmy, partly cloudy, and dry. By the time I have paid two tolls, it is drizzling-cold and damp. By the time I arrive at work, I am clearly in another climate zone. I am not wearing a jacket, I am not carrying an umbrella.Crap. I am almost in Canada.

Gas prices used to be fairly consistent no matter where you bought gas...now I find myself amazed that there is a 20 cent difference per gallon, the next town over. Why? Who knows! But I Will plan my commute to take advantage of the extra 3.20 worth of gas I can squeak out. This is one of the useless pieces of information I carry around with me from day to day.

What is it with me and web sites? Do I look like a webmaster? Sometimes it's best to pretend you know nothing. I know nothing. DO not ask me if I can fix this or post that or make it happen. I know too much. Shhhh, don't tell anyone.

Why is it when you feel well enough to test the limits of your body, rarely is it a good idea. I am writing about it so I won't do it; things like Body Combat, the driving range....aww shucks. We'll stick to ice, massage and rest.

Why is it you can never find exactly what you need in the heat of the moment?.but you know it will turn up when you no longer need it, when you least expect it, in the most random location.

The days are getting shorter, the sun a little lower in the sky, the leaves are starting to turn, and it has been two years. Two years ago I was making apple pie and blogging on the Care Pages. Two years ago was an eternity. Two years ago was like yesterday. Life is the same...field hockey, apple picking, football, soxtober. But everything is different...new houses, new babies, new jobs, new outlook on life; goals have been accomplished, challenges met, dreams dreamed...life is good. Two years is good....time is good.....

So that's it for September. We're moving on....more random shit to follow.

How much is it worth to love your job?

Today I knew it. I felt it, and it felt great. For the first time since I started my new job I really knew I loved what I do. I kinda knew it when it didn't matter that my office space was the size of a desk, and the chair I sat in wiggled and if I leaned way back I would land on the floor. I kinda knew it when I walked into the staff room (next door to my office) and there was FREE coffee! I kinda knew it when I could hear co workers laughing down the hall...often. I also kinda knew it when I was asked to play a practical joke on a co worker my first day on the job.

I could almost feel it when my truck rolled over the bridge in the morning sun and I had the sailboats on either side of me in the point, like a picture postcard. I would think to myself.."How lucky am I to be seeing this!?""
But I didn't really know it 100 %. I knew the job had potential...all kinds of potential, and I could feel it deep down in my bones, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

I kinda felt it every time I met someone new and they already knew who I was! I kinda knew it when I realized i could walk to almost all my schools, if I really wanted exercise. I could.

I kinda knew it when I walked into the other school, and no matter what day I entered, at 10:00 lunch smelled fantastic! You could smell the meal of the day throughout the entire school..and they don't even have a caf! The children eat at their desks.

I also kinda knew it when, on Fridays, Dunkin Donuts was a treat...for the office. People cannot afford to go to Dunk's twice a day every day for coffee;that' s what the Mr. Coffee is for.

And then there's the stories..of naughty puppies eating library books, and of "how I met Jackson Brown; and who is that hot soccer player? Taylor somebody? There are stories of Gilette Stadium, and Yankee Stadium. There are stories of pre school, and softball, and of mothers and children.

All of a sudden, today felt good. I did not feel like the new girl anymore. I felt like one of the office. When I ventured out to another district, I did not feel like the new girl anymore.

Today I finally knew it was all worth it when I knew I made a difference and suddenly I felt like I fit in and it was all gonna be okay, no matter what. It was rainy and dreary, and my back hurt, but it was a good day. In spite of the tolls, and the commute, and the gas, and the budget, and the longer days, I knew it was worth it.

How much is it worth to love what you do? How much is it worth to get to teach people how to do very cool stuff with whatever technology they have? How much is it worth to have people you don't even know, be excited enough to share something with you their mother shared with them?
Small things do make a difference in the every day lives of people we touch. I get to do that now, every day. Small things. With great things to come.

Things I used to be good at...

Five and a half days of caring for a 1 year old and a 3 year old has brought back memories, as well as reminded me what I used to take for granted oh so many years ago. My grown children are NOW impressed with the abilities I had to make sure all my children survived their childhood years. I took it for granted when I was in my twenties. I am now impressed with myself! What was I thinking? I guess there was no time to think way back then...it was survival of the fittest-it was being smarter than a 3 year old- it was every man for himself.

Here is what I used to be good at:

Functioning with 4 hours sleep, or 6 hours sleep interrupted every two hours, for 30 minutes at a time. I could have been a firefighter!!

Finding "binkies" -pacifiers, in the dark, on my knees, by feel only- with this skill I could have been a special forces soldier, successfully completing secret missions in the night..

Running up and down stairs, carrying a screaming, kicking 30 pound weight in one arm, and securing the lid of a sippie cup- one handed, in the other hand.

Packing all the necessities required in the event of any kind of evacuation or emergency-every time you leave the house. I think the Boy Scouts call this "Be Prepared!"

Living as a hermit..unable to leave the house or the room, even, for more than 2 minutes, by yourself. I guess I could have been a contestant on Big Brother!

Remembering to knock on the door when you are leaving the bathroom..to make sure you don't knock over the baby on the other side who is banging on the door.

Knowing the difference between the hungry cry, the mad cry, the thirsty cry, the tired cry, and the "I've lost my binkie cry" which sounds exactly like all the other cries.

Living on finger foods: chicken nuggets, mixed veggies, cheerios, toast, scrambled eggs, and macaroni, raviolo or A,B,C's. I am hoping this is a new kind of diet....no seriously.

Eating dinner at 4:30 and going to bed at 8. No seriously.

I used to do all this effortlessly with cheer. Well, maybe not with cheer. But I could do it, times 4. Of course living in a constant state of goo, toys and babytalk may have caused atrophy to the brain cells a little bit. Or perhaps it was functioning on very little sleep. Who knows?

All I know is my laptop has not come out of its case, and I cannot even remember what day it is. But enough reminiscing..it is 8:30 am and it is already nap time!

Happy Birthday

Today is September 11, my daughter's birthday. I was reminded when I woke up this morning and turned on the news, that never again will this day be totally about her birthday..or "all about her" as we like to say. And it made me sad.

I am sad for her because her much anticipated 16th birthday was supposed to be the most special day ever 7 years ago....I am sad for mankind that September 11 is a day, like Pearl Harbor Day, that will live in our hearts and minds forever, but not for a happy reason.
On the 16th anniversary of my youngest daughter's birth, there was no party. Instead, there was fear, insecurity, tears and frustration.

In the years since, the celebrations have never quite lived up to anyone's expectations. It is, after all, the anniversary of the bombing of the World Trade Center..which we have vowed never to forget.

Maybe, like Pearl Harbor Day, in 50 years, the pain of September 11 will be appeased, but the day will never lose its significance.

Today I woke up and felt for my daughter, who was just a little bit crankier than usual last night, in anticipation of her birthday. She is like any other young person, wanting to have her special day, her day in the sun, and all around her, throughout the day, are somber reminders of tragedy, and heroics, of terror, and of loss.

So I will spend time with her and we will all try to make her day as special as we can, knowing that we cannot ever erase what has happened, nor can we pretend that life as we knew it will ever be the same.

Masha, Marsha, Marsha....

I miss my aunt. In weird ways, because it's not like I saw her all the time or very often. But it's like I could conjure her up whenever I wanted to. I knew she was there, just a phone call away. Now I conjure her up and I can see her in my mind as clear as if it were the other day, before she was sick. She is my Aunt Marsha. She is happy, full of life, fun, and funny. She is daring and cute and loving and kind. She smokes like a chimney and swears and gambles. She is my aunt.

Now when I see her she is only in my mind and in my heart. She comes to me at random times. I know she is in a better place, but I miss her, still. I miss knowing I cannot call her anymore or hear her voice. There will be an empty chair, now, at family events. She will not be physically present. I know she will be there, somewhere, in our hearts and in our minds. I can hear her voice and see her face. But she's not there.

It amazes me this whole process of saying good-bye. I can see how some people can never truly say good bye. Saying goodbye feels like the end. So I will not say good bye. I will say, Godspeed. And so my aunt will continue to come to me randomly, I'm sure..when I am still, and quiet and ready. I treasure those moments, because they are fleeting. There is a lesson in there somewhere, I'm sure, but it is all too much for me to analyse at the moment. So instead, I will just accept it for what it is and remember my aunt.

It's a whole new season for questions...

If you ever want to change things up, start a new job! If you ever were feeling bored, unchallenged, or full of yourself..try starting over. Where do I begin?
After 3 weeks I am still in that..."She's still here!" stage..."Do you still like it?"
"Is it what you thought it would be?"
And my favorite...."So.....how's it going?" As they tilt their head and look sideways, not sure they want to hear my answer.

As if I would actually say what is REALLY on my mind!

Every day I make at least 5 lists...things to do, people to see, places to go, questions to ask, things I need...and so on. Believe it or not, things do get crossed off the list! I have decided to try a new tactic today. Instead of spending an hour or so on each task, I am going to pick 1 task and be thorough about it. Like my web page. Yuck. It is a disaster. So, I need to just plug away and get something finished so I can publish, and say, "THAT JOB IS DONE."

I need to be more adventurous and go exploring, like take a road trip and visit people. But I remember what it was like to be a teacher the first week of school and have tech people wander into my room and expect me to drop everything to see what they wanted or needed. That is not how to make friends and influence people.

So, for now I will try to get stuff done. I will continue to make my lists and cross things off. I will be positive and cheery and helpful, and when people ask, "How's it going?" I will say what I always say, "It's going great!!"

And, as usual, whenever I see someone, I start the conversation with..."I have a question....if you have a second." Most people have some sort of answer, and I get some of my questions answered. It's a pretty good gig. I do have a ton of questions, however, and I am still learning to be patient, patient , patient.

Today is a new day...it's a whole new season for questions.

What is Pearl Harbor Day?

Decemeber 7. My grandson's date of birth. He's 6 now, and likes to ask random questions. (Wonder where that comes from?) "What is Pearl Harbor Day?" First he needed to know how to say it , cuz it came out sounding something like Porl Hubba. We have told him since he was born his birthday is Pearl Harbor Day. So now he knows it is a naval base in Hawaii. And the Navy...his great grandfather was in the Navy during WWII, but not in Pearl Harbor on December 7.

Speaking of the Navy and WWII, my father in law is 85, and recently went home to Florida with my mother -in-law, ending their summer in NH early because he has a bad back. He has had quite a life..most of the exciting parts coming before I was born. Much of the excitement coming from the time he spent in the Navy during WWII. Who knew? Now I wish I had written his stories down right after he told them..because the details are fuzzy in my mind. It has nothing to do with the Labor Day cookout and the Pina Coladas...

Stories come out randomly, and they are like little surprises. Earlier this summer we were chatting about their neighbors in Woburn when he was growing up. Then off to the Navy he went. He started telling us how they took back this little village in France, and brought back a ton of loot to the ship, including guns. On the way back to the ship his buddy asked if he could grab one of the guns for a souvenir. His buddy didn't have any room in his locker to store it, so my father in law said "Sure, I'll see what I can do..no guarantees." They were not supposed to keep anything for themselves, personally, let alone a gun! So the next time they had a layover, my father in law secretly whisked the gun off the ship wrapped in clothes, and shipped the gun to his friend's house in Woburn.

Now here's where the story gets fuzzy. Some time recently someone who knew that family met my in laws in Florida.....and told the story of that gun and how much it meant to that sailor's family. It stayed in their family for years and was passed down for generations. Just a story...obviously a much more interesting one told from my father in law's point of view...he described the little French village, he described the invasion, the sailors, his friends,and the capture of prisoners, and the release of the French. He described how much trouble he would have been in if he had been caught with that gun! (And of course he described the gun IN DETAIL.!)

But he took it anyways, for his friend, no big deal, and wondered whatever became of his friend and that gun. Some 60 years later the story comes full circle with an ending you could not make up. I should have written it down. Next time I will.

Write down your stories.

Do A Little Dance.....

Make a little love...get down tonight..Okay, so you know how the rest of the song goes.
"Would you like to go see KC and the Sunshine Band?"
Sure!
Let me say this one thing. Baby Boomers do not want to go see other baby boomers singing songs they made popular 30 years ago...really. I thought I did...but it was bad from the beginning. The Sunshine Band part was great..young, hip, talented. KC, well....thirty years equals thirty pounds, thinning hair, wrinkles, and WAY too much purple and glitter. I imagine a few too many road shows has made KC tired. The hips just ain't shakin' the way they used to, and the moves are just a little sloppy. Disheveled would be a good word to describe it.

We knew we were in trouble when they brought out a yellow cardigan thing to go over his black t shirt and trousers. To cover up the flabby belly most likely. And his big ass.

And the dancing girls...well, maybe they used to be girls, once. Now they are like a brick house...mighty, mighty and lettin' it all hang out. Eeeeeewe. They certainly would not win any prizes on reality tv shows like "But Can They Dance?"

After about an hour, I kind of lost interest. I think our sky box was the only group not up shakin their booty.

KC was gracious in his old age, however, and could easily laugh at himself. "What the hell happened?" he shouted. I woke up and I'm not young anymore!

Join us, KC. The room was filled with 40 and 50 somethings thinking they still looked 20 or 30. From my vantage point there was a lot of fake blonde hair, sagging body parts, and thinning scalps. I bet KC was feeling it the next day.

Thoughts on eggs and bad 80's music

I am glad to be going to work today and for the rest of summer. Vacation as I know it is over. Did I say vacation? Going back to work will be a vacation after the last few weeks. I am thinking of writing an essay: "What I Did On My Summer Vacation." Except it would read like fiction.

"Why are you stressed?" my husband asked the other day...He decided he should take me out to celebrate our wedding anniversary..which happened to fall in the middle of a three day golf tournament that recently concluded.

"Are you serious?" I got transferred to a job I didn't want, my aunt was diagnosed with cancer, my aunt died, I hurt my back, my mom is needy, my kids are at my house every day, it has rained almost every day, I got a new job, I had to resign my old job, I am teaching a class right now, I am teaching another calss next week and I start a new job in 2 weeks. My house got egged, I have no money, and the builders across the street are forcing me to close my windows and suffocate or listen to Barry Manilow blaring Mandy all day long. Are you kidding me?"

"Oh."

So the other night I heard something hit my house in the middle of the night-because I was laying awake for hours trying to go back to sleep. In the morning I discovered egg-gooey, sticky, egg yolk, egg white and shells all over my roof, my windows and my porch. Have fun golfing honey, while I spend the morning using the hose and goo-gone to scrub the nasty raw egg off our house. Of course, Barry Manilow was singing away amidst the electric saws.

That afternoon I spent entertaining...again. A house full of small children and large children. Grown men should not be allowed to drink margaritas..especially after spending the day golfing.

Day 2 of a three day weekend dawns. I should have gone away to some secluded island spa. More bad 80's music. More cleaning, more rain. Dinner is good..it is a guilt dinner, so of course I make him pay and drink lots of wine.

Day 3. My anniversary. Who cares? My mom comes by at noon, I entertain her and feed her lunch; my daughter comes by and spends the next 2 hours trying to control my grandsons. It thunders and there is lightening, and it pours and we are all sitting around looking at each other. Except for Aidan who is climbing all over the furniture and waging a cookie war with his mom.

The first shift leaves and the second shift arrives. The weekend golfer finally comes home and wonders why I am stressed. It is still raining. I have done nothing fun all weekend and you have done nothing BUT have fun all weekend. I went grocery shopping and have spent the day cooking and feeding people. I have a great idea! Why don't you stay for dinner! I can cook for you and clean up after you and entertain you. I can do it because I know tomorrow I am going back to work and I will have all the time in the world to relax.

A summer and a weekend that cannot end soon enough as far as I am concerned. There is a reason people go away on vacation. Maybe if I act now I can book a room for next weekend.

ER: The Reality Show

So what it is about emergency room medical care? There is a reason you need a primary care physician no matter where you go. If you travel, be prepared to pack your own MD.

I think 8 hours in an emergency waiting room might be some kind of a record for me. It was worse because I was wearing a watch, and was hungry and cranky. By midnight I was just plain tired. In spite of the steady stream of characters that came and went while my father in law was being tested, tested, tested, the night was a total wash...and not because of the torrential rains.

We had normal people....who came and were diagnosed with appendicitis about 6 hours after they arrived; we had an elderly gentleman who had been seen in the Quick Care section...hours earlier...who was told "you need to be seen in the other section...sorry about that. "We had a tattooed drug addict demanding to be seen because he could not stand the itching any longer- going through withdrawal symptoms -crashing the examining room area. We had a patient leave the confines of the examining room area and wander outside in his slippers and johnnie...Where's the security in these places??We had a nurse manager who was kind of an ER Nazi of sorts. We saw her shift end at 11pm. We were still there when the midnight visitors arrived...whole families who arrived and hung out in the waiting room waiting for some Tylenol.

And then there was my sister in law and me...who, by virtue of seniority, owned the waiting room after being the first and last ones there.(8 hours) We had birthday cake in the truck for my mother in law, but it felt kind of rude to be eating cake in front of indigents. SO we waited, and we waited, and we were really bad about being patient.

We watched the Red Sox beat Seattle in 12 innings; we watched Hurricane Dolly over, and over, and over again on the Weather Channel, and we waited....

In the end...around 1am, it was determined that all the dreaded possibilities that could be, did not exist...and all that was left was a really hurting back...so with 3 pain pills and an umbrella, we all left. We headed back to the RV for birthday cake and a very short night's sleep.

ER...for real. Could have been a mini series or an epic, but there wasn't enough action.

The House that Ruth Built

Some things cannot live up to the legend...Yankee Stadium is best left to Hollywood and the imagination or perhaps the memory of glory days long past.

First there was the Alll Star Game, hosted by Yankee Stadium. The stadium was packed with people. It shined in the night and I thought, how cool is that? We are gonna be there!

Then, in preparation for a long anticipated trip the home of the Bronx Bombers we watched Billy Crystal's HBO movie *61; the story of Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle-teammates on the 1961 Yankees, both on track to break Babe Ruth's single season homerun record. The movie was great..but Billy Crystal's documentary on how he directed the movie and remade Tiger Stadium into Yankee Stadium in 1961 rang with passion. He loves the Yankees, and Yankee Stadium. The anticipation and expectation were just too much.

Easy to get to? Kinda...except NYC in the middle of July is just downright hot....and the subway stations are not air conditioned. Take the number 4 train...you can get a ticket at the booth down at the track. The guy in the booth was getting a chuckle watching my husband try to figure out what he wanted, and how he was going to get thru the turnstyle. He knew better...he came out from behind the glass to give LB a tutorial on swiping his card. On to the Number 4 train to Yankee Stadium. Sometimes it pays to be a tourist. Did I mention it was 95 degrees and humid? And the trains are not air conditioned either. But we were on our way to Yankee Stadium! The house the Ruth built!

I can see it! As the Number 4 train rumbled up alongside the stadium...the old stadium standing adjacent to the colosseum like new stadium scheduled to open next spring. All I could see was a sea of blue seats through a space in the outfield wall.

The train came to a halt and off we got...as I looked down the fire escape like structure onto the street below I was awestruck. What a dump! street vendors hawking t shirts..sleazy sports bars spilling out onto the nasty sidewalk; trash littering the ground..just a concrete jungle. Up overhead loomed the subway train tracks as the Number 4 train continued on its way.

Throngs of people headed like cattle to an opening in the cement wall...where's Gate number 2?
'Oh, around the other way."
"What do you mean you can't bring backpacks into the stadium?"
"You'll have to go over across form Gate Number 6 to the Bowling Alley to check your bag."
"Crap, my camera battery is just died!"
No one is ever going to believe this place without pictures.

Cracked cement, peeling paint, gloomy lighting, dank, dark and depressing.

Out onto the field the sun is shining and the stands go on forever, but the fact remains, it is a dump. No wonder the yankees hate Boston so much..they gotta be jealous of Fenway Park!

All I can say is they need a new stadium....and I hope they appreciate it. From the nasty food, to the grumpy people, to the flower pots acting as trash recepticals, Yankee Stadium is one place that is best remembered for how it used to be. Some people like old..say it lends character. I am just a spoiled Boston fan looking for a bit of history. Guess I'll watch the DVD.

The ultimate resort experience

It's here! That' s right! I have a swimming pool..so you know what that means. The place where no self respecting teenager would ever want to "hang out" has now become the ultimate summertime resort. Lounge chairs, beverages, snacks, popsicles and a pool. We even offer rooms for naps if needed. I can't complain, except it is constant. Sometimes everyone is here at once....other times we have morning sessions and afternoon sessions. My children used to call me maybe once aweek...now it's at least once a day. The conversation often goes like this:

" Hey, are you gonna be home today?" or "Hi, it's me, I was just calling to check in.....are you guys gonna be home today?" or "What are you doing?" that's a loaded question. What I should say is, "I am vaccuuming the pool, washing the dishes, wiping the drool off the hardwood floors, and cleaning cookie scum off my sofa. I am straightening my magazines and I need to go to the grocery store because we are out of beer and juice and diet Pepsi. And white bread."

But I must say it can be very entertaining. We have at least one temper tantrum every hour. The youngens are learning attitude from each other...how to talk back with a tone, roll their eyes, and bat their eyelashes to get their own way. We are learning how to help out, clean up after ourselves, open and shut the screen door, and use a watering can to water weeds.

We are also learning who can do the best belly flop off the diving board, how to breath using a snorkel, and which goggles look the most attractive with our swimsuit.

This resort offers recreational activities not too far away..such as golf, bike riding and wiffle ball. And there are often resident experts on hand to offer lessons.

So, for the price of a bottle of wine or a six pack and some Cheeze-its, the ultimate resort experience can be yours. Don't bother to call to see if I'm home or ask what I'm doing....if I don't answer the phone it's because I'm busy getting ready for my guests. Just show up with your suit and towel. I recommend an SPF sunscreen of at least 45 though, because the sun can get hot hanging out on the deck.
See you at the pool.

Summertime Thoughts

It has been awhile. since my last post.There is no avoiding it...summer has arrived. In spite of New Hampshire's version of June Gloom, summer is officially here. So far, not so good. So far we have had to say goodbye to my aunt, and we will miss her terribly. It is a reminder not to take things for granted..especially people. There are some people-friends and relatives- I swear I have not seen in years. Unfortunately, sometimes 6 weeks can be too long. Make a point of spending time with people you care about. What would happen if they were to disappear from your life today?


So far there has been a lot of rain..afternoon thunderstorms. Are we living in Florida or NH? It is a process when it rains..there are umbrellas, pool toys and cushions ....I have decided to leave the cushions out...so what it if they get wet.

So far not much golf. I am supposed to be on vacation! How is it I have no time for leisure activities? I have had to book hair, nails, massage, and golf. I have had relatives dropping in, staying over. I have even had to clean and cook!! I want to go back to work I think.....I'm tired of being on vacation.

So far I have met a guy from Illinois who moved to California who finished sentences with "Right on!" He has long dreadlocks, tatoos, wears birkies and John Lennon sunglasses. Right on!


I have a new list, it's called:
THINGS I WANT TO DO THIS SUMMER. I wonder how many things will get crossed off? A couple, I hope.

• I want to tour the Sam Adams Brewery;
• I want to go see a Fisher Cats game, or Portland Sea Dogs, I'm not fussy.
• I want to take the Downeaster to somewhere..I haven't decided yet. I love trains. I
• want to go away, to a place with a pool, and do nothing for 2 days except do nothing. No worries...no phone calls, no computer, no television.
• I want to read my neighbor's book UNREQUITED
• I want to organize my photos (that' son the long list, too.)
• And I want to have at least 2 parties

So there it is. Summer is here. I am hopeful and happy. It is a time to regenerate and renew and relax. If only I can find a few minutes...

The Truth About Golfers

So, you ask, what is it like to see real professional tour golfers up close and in person? Well, I guess it's kind of like seeing a celebrity in person. Once they jump off the TV screen onto the fairway, they are just regular people...with some really cool clothes.

For example, from my living room couch, I thought Tiger Woods was at least 6'4. Apparently, the only reason his smaller frame looks so much larger than everyone else's, is because many of the golfers are small....like, I mean, 6 ft tall or less. Yes, that's right. Who knew? They also come in all shapes and sizes. Most of them are lean and not very large, either. Tiger is ripped, and Phil is trying to pump it up, but pretty much, their muscles are long and lean. I would have to say Vijay is probably one of the tallest golfers on the tour, but that could be becuse he is sooooo slim. Apparently he is not very nice to people along the course, either, especially when things don't go his way.

The most sylish dressers are definitely the Europeans. Tiger is very conservative. and who is responsible for Phil's wardrobe? I think he is trying to reinvent himself, and it is not working, at least for me.

The caddies are amazing. The golfers totally rely on their caddies for information, guidance and of course, to lug their bags around.

The biggest lesson I learned by observing the best golfers in the world is:
1) There are ALOT of bad golf shots...and not many great ones
2) Golfers keep their bodies REALLY still. There is an amazing efficiency of movement so that all of their energy is transferred to that little golf ball.
3) A Positive attitude goes a very long way. It was very obvious that when shots went bad, the golfers who kept their wits about them ended up in a better place than those who threw their clubs.
4) And it really is all about the putt. Champions are determined more often than not by 3 feet or less.

Everyone should have the opportunity to see the people we idolize up close, in person. Turns out, they really do exist, and they are just like you and me....only a whole lot better at golf.

California Dreamin'

Okay, so there are some things I noticed while traveling out west. These are just some of the random thoughts that went through my head:


Things that are large-sunglasses. Women wear gigantic sunglasses-huge!


Things that are small- dogs. They are everywhere. It is like there is a size limit on the pooches.


What to wear to a golf tournament-just about anything goes. What amazed me most was women in dresses and heels, wandering out along the cart path to the 13th hole-hilly, steep terrain. How do they do that? I walked all day in running shoes and my feet and legs were killing me. I bet they practice..alot.



Everything is dry..and dusty...lots of dust. No wonder when a fire starts it spreads so quickly.



Nobody works..or so it seems. They surf by day and party by night.Maybe surfing is their job!

Everyone appears to love life and be in great physical shape. Could be all the jogging, biking, surfing and yoga. Could be that nobody works.

Gas prices are through the roof already. Way over 4 bucks a gallon.

I still love how you can buy a fifth of scotch at the CVS. Guess they know what cures you!

June gloom only exists inside the 5 mile stretch between I5 and the ocean. They make a hufe deal of it on the news every day. They do not know what June gloom is. At least you can drive a short distance to where it is sunny. Here in the Northeast you muyst wait for months for November through June gloom to pass. They do not know what June gloom is.

Thrift shops and second hand stores are big. Probably because nobody works....

Manicures and pedicures are cheap. You can get a mani and a pedi at the smae time! While watching a soap opera!

Mexican food is huge. I hope you like burritos, tacos, enchiladas and nachos. And you need a margarita to wash it all down.

Blonde is the preferred hair color of choice..although if you are Mexican or Native American, that certainly won't work for you.

So there you have it, some random California observations. I wonder what Californians think of us?

Traveling Adventures Part II

So we have already established that traveling with me is an adventure...one that is fun and full of surprises. And it is always worth the trip.


I recently returned from a trip to the west coast to visit a relative, and to see golf's greatest players in the world live and up close. Well, they were definitely alive, and the greatest players were kinda close, but the trip held unexpcted fun times as well. I will try to remember most of it, if you can keep in mind this is from my point of view only.....I'm sure others would have a very different take on this particular story.



Chapter 1: Babies, babies everywhere!

So who takes their child on a 6 hour non-stop flight across the USA? My husband, excited to be heading to California, is also excited to get a window seat, hoping to catch a glimpse of , I don't know, the Grand Canyon or something, 4 -5 hours into his first cross country flight. Too bad someone forgot to tell the young couple with the very agitated baby sitting right next to him. After 4 hours of off and on (but mostly on) again crying, whining, fussing and squirming, "Would you please close your window shade so he can try to sleep?" Not good. More crying and screaming and squirming. "Would you like anything to drink?" the flight attendent asks. "Can I get another Heineken?" The lady next to me asks. I am sitting BEHIND the screaming baby. The flight attendent brings the Heineken to the baby's father by mistake. Hey, maybe he'll give the baby the Heineken and we can all enjoy the last leg of this flight. Honey did I tell you Cousin Dottie is babysitting her grandaughter for the next three days? And she has 2 cats-but they won't bother us, and I bet that baby never cries......



Chapter 2: We're in California so who cares?



Off to buy stuff. The US Open Merchandise Pavilion, where my husband has volunteered to work 20 hours, is open to the public the weekend before the Open. It is like a mall. It is the size of a football field, built next to the first fairway between the North Course and the South Course at Torrey Pines. We drive along Coastal Highway 101 along the shores of the Pacific Ocean from Encinitas to La Jolla. Oh, Solana Beach! That's where the surfer got eaten by a shark! Oh, and La Jolla..the trial for the murder of that La Jolla surfer by a so called surfer gang, involving a UNH football player, is coming up the end of the month. Isn't California swell?



Chapter 3: The Way Life Should Be



A tee time at Coronado Golf Course. As a twosome at a busy municiple course, you always get paired up with other golfers. Most of the time it works out nicely. You meet new people, and have a good time, good laughs. Today was a bonus. We got to golf with two really nice guys who introduced themselves as Navajo Indians from New Mexico. How cool is that? And, they were running for political office of their tribe. They were in town for the Open, just like us. We had a blast. Our golf sucked, we hit trees, drank beer, and looked out at the harbor under the California sunshine.



Chapter 4: Does anyone ship wine?



What do I have to do to get California wine shipped to my house? It is getting ridiculous. We woke up to June Gloom, and decided to venture inland and north in search of sunshine and vineyards. We found both. Our first stop surprised us. We walked into a gigantic tasting room, where we were the only two tasters.....10 minutes later a tour bus filled with French tourists pulled up and we had an instant party. 50 French tourists, the two of us, and several servers who did not speak French. We will be buying wine, but how shall we get it home? Let's worry about that later.... After a morning of wine tasting, we head back down to San Diego in search of the USS Midway. We decide to do a quick tour, and then head over to Petco Park to get Padres vs Dodgers tickets. Before the game, we go over to The Fish Market for dinner. I am tired, but hey, I'm on vacation and the fun is just beginning. So we tour the Midway, we eat dinner, then we go watch Joe Torrey make mincemeat of the Padres. Now I know why we think the Red Sox are so great. Because they are!!!



Chapter 5: Dry Run

"Did you set the alarm?"

"Yep! I set it for 4:45 am." Tomorrow is my husband's first tour of duty. It is an official practice day at the Open.

"Good, that 'll give us more than enough time."

I am so exhausted I cannot see straight. The baby, cousin Dottie's grandaughter, by the way, does not cry. She does not fuss, she does not whine. Just for the record. We both sleep like babies..until the alram goes off. Crap! I jump out of bed and stumble to shut the cell phone alarm off. My husband stumbles out of bed, shaves and asks, "Do I have enough time for shower?"

Man am I tired!!

"Sure..." I am pulling on my shorts and shirt and grab my watch....

"Oh no!"

"What's wrong?"

"Oh no, I can't believe it! It's only 2:45!! I must've forgot to check to make sure thsi was s et for Pacific time! My cell is still on Eastern time!"

"You're kidding!"
"No, I am not kidding. We have had only 3 hrs sleep. I am going back to sleep. I am sleeping in my clothes."

And so that is how our first official day started....with three hours official sleep, and a few more hours of bad sleep....to the shuttle bus, in the dark, with no traffic, to the gates of the Volunteer Village. It is 6:15 am and I am on the grounds of the 2008 US Open. But it is only the beginning.....

Bad golf, bad math, good times

You would think I could at least add. But then again, the numbers are getting so high. It' s like I take enough swings to play an 18 hole round, in just 9 holes. What is it about spring golf? My body forgets where to stand behind the ball, how to stand, where to put the club face, the ball, ahhhhh! Every hit is a new adventure.

My average is going up, not down..the harder I try, the worse it gets. And now, on top of the bad golf....bad math. Last night at Ladie's League, all four of us added our scores wrong. I checked in the clubhouse tonight..."WHAT?!" I can't believe I shot a 64!!! I thought I had a 58, or a 59 at most..that' s a 6 stroke difference....hmmmm.l...et's see: 3 sixes, 2 nines, a ten, what does that equal? Then a 4...how many holes is that? Crap...I forgot to add a hole. I bet we all forgot to add a hole. Not only are we all bad golfers, now we'r e bad at math! This is not good. We will be the laughing stocks next week. What can you do.?

Time to go practice, practice practice. I need to follow my own advice.

I hate endings

I hate when I finish a really good book, or a really great movie. What's good about books and movies is that you can replay, rewind, and do it all aover again. Not so with life. Life is different. I am becoming very aware that there have been a lot of endings in my life-some good, some bad. I guess that's what comes when you move on through life. More endings than beginnings at times. This is one of those times.

The list of new goals, hopes and dreams needs to be rewritten. I am feeling really lazy right now, or is it tired and drained? I guess endings is a little harsh, and I should, instead think accomplishments. Completed tasks, jobs, missions accomplished.

What is hard to swallow is the end of teamwork, relationships, and comraderie. Some of it was my choice as I moved on to different challenges and adventures. I never really considered the people I left behind. Now I know what it feels like. The one being left behind. I guess it feels like a captain going down with the ship. That's probably why I feel like I'm drowning. I am torn between that sense of responsibility for a sinking, floundering vessel, and making sure all my passengers get out safely, and jumping ship before the last life boat leaves.

So every day brings me closer to my ship being sucked into the ocean's black vortex from which there apparently is no escape. And yet I feel like there is nothing I can do but sing Amazing Grace and have faith that I will get out of this alive.

The burning of Rome, the sinking of the Titanic, the sinking of Atlantis, big endings. Lots of accomplishments, but buried beneathe rubble for years. What a waste.

So forgive me if I need to stay with the ship just a bit longer. I cannot concentrate on a new beginning right now, with so many goodbyes.

1-2-3 JUMP!

It is a leap of faith. Just do it. Little kids do it all the time, they do not think about their actions..they do not think about the future, they do what they want to do.
I have been waiting for a sign. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway, it's a good excuse and makes a good story.

The key is you need to be ready to recognize the signs when they come. It's like pieces of a puzzle that need to be put together. The pieces all fit, and they have a purpose...but you need to be able to sift through the crap to get it. You need to be able to have a vision and see clearly..through unclouded eyes. It takes practice. It takes a lot of reflecting and even though I am not a propnent of thinking, it does take a fair amount of detective work. All I can say is when you get that "Aha" feeling, or that "deja vu" feeling or that smile inside of you when the phone rings and it is the person you were just talking about that you haven't heard from in a month..it is not a coincidence. It is karma and you need to be ready for it.

So how hard is it? It is wicked hard! Every day you wake up and go through the motions. If you're not careful, every day becomes every week, and every week becomes every year and eventually you cannot even remember who you are and you are old and tired. The project that has been unfinished for years...finish it. The places you want to go see...travel, go there. The thing you just always wanted to do...just do it.

All I'm saying is to become more aware of life and it's little messages tucked away into the corners of all things ordinary. Take a moment of stillness out of your day and reflect on those perfect moments where it all comes together.

So, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Do the thing you think you cannot do." Just do it. The signs are all there. No more excuses, no more waiting for signs. Remember it is all decided for us anyways. So what sign are you waiting for?

The Neverending Story

You've read the book, you've seen the movie. I am living it, or so it seems. Everyone loves a good story with a happy ending. Sometimes, good stories may even had sad endings, or endings that make you think.

What would you do if you were actually in the story and couldn't get out? Stories are meant to be told AFTER the fact. There is no after, yet, for me. It is still very much now..the present..and I am in the story, still. The story that apparently has not really ended yet. The story that keeps on giving. It is a challenge I face every day..for a reason I have not quite figured out yet.

I am surprised how famous or infamous it is, really. I am surprised it continues to be a story, really. I have let it go, or I have tried to, because after all, it is nothing but a story now, in the past. The past is gone. It really does not even exist except in the minds of those that wish to relive it. I do not.

I have tried to keep positive, to live in the present, and to be a better person, every day. I am creating my own story, minute by minute. I am learning every day that for every action there is a reaction. If you make a choice, be prepared to deal with the reaction. But it is all part of the story that has not ended yet.

Sometimes stories have lessons. Sometimes new characters bring new lessons. Yesterday a new character entered my story with a new lesson. A simple lesson, but poignant: the Chinese believe life is for a very long time..because when this life ends, there are other lives. They believe you can learn much from animals, and their pace through life. The rabbit has avery short life span as they run around like crazy through life. The tortoise, on the other hand...can live hundreds of years. Do you want to be a rabbit or a tortoise?

It is important to live each minute moment of your life. Live now, create your own stories from the present, not the past. I believe your choices and paths have already been determined. I am learning to go with it and be positive. It is unproductive and unhealthy to be negative. I have learned that lesson from my life story, now I am learning to breathe and slow down so that I can be like the tortoise, and not the rabbit.