Sad times

Sometimes it is hard to follow your own advice. I admit it. I forgot you cannot control other people's actions...you can only control your own reactions. Was this a test? If so, then I think I flunked. I am amazed at how others behave at times, and I want to make everything right with the world. Or at least in my world. But I am living in a fantasy land, apparently, or a nightmare from which I cannot wake up.

Here's what you need to do survive in the workplace jungle:

Do not make friends....heavens, no! Because one of two things will happen....your friends will leave you, because it's work, not real life...or people that cannot mind their own business will gossip and tell stories behind your back because they are clairvoyant. Everyone knows what' sbest for you..and everyone certainly knows everyone else's business!

Do not think you are indispensable, and do not try to put your all into your job. Do not, under any circumstances be passionate about what you do. In the end, you are nothing...and all of your time and energy and passion will be expunged. Poof! Like you never existed. So do your job efficiently and without passion. No pain.

Do not try to engage commoners in thoughtful conversation. They only want to hear themselves talk, they do not care what you have to say, really, so keep your mouth shut.

Do not draw attention to yourself..if you complain, it will come back to haunt you. If you point out indiscrepancies or errors or inadequacies, it will somehow be turned against you. You let it happen..you didn't try hard enough. What are you gonna do about it?

Do not think that just because you are honorable and do the right thing you will be rewarded. It is every man for himself, apparently.Look at Marion Jones. Look at Roger Clemens. Enough said.

Do not hope that things will change and become better somehow..you are who you are. A square peg does not fit into a round hole, unless it breaks....or the edges get worn with time and friction. Do not break yourself.

And last but not least, remember you can not control what other people think, say and do. You can only control your reaction to them. I will try to follow my own advice.

Wild Turkey, Landshark and Lobstah

It was a zoo. Baby animals everywhere! But good times. We imported a Texan and fed him lobster. We were feelin the love with some Landshark. But I kid you not- when the party was over and I woke up and tiptoed downstairs this morning to check out the morning sunshine that was not rain, I could not believe my eyes!

Now I know the baby had Thanksgiving dinner in a jar for supper last night, but this was straight out of Jumanji! Can you say gobble gobble? A turkey was standing in my back yard, tail feathers in full regalia, prancing around with his neck jutting in and out, looking at me looking at him through the back door window. If the Texan wasn't snoring peacefully upstairs, I would have screamed! Instead, I whispered really loud to myself, "I can't believe this!" Then I went running for my camera and woke my husband up.

"There's a turkey in our backyard. A real one! With his tail feathers up and everything!!" We ran downstairs-there was Mr. Turkey. He meandered back and forth across our driveway..then out to the front yard. We were running from window to window with the camera trying to catch him with his feathers up, but he wasn't cooperating. He was, however, very comfortable strolling among the apple trees.
'He must be from the farm down the road."
"I thought they had goats?"
"No, they have turkeys."
"Should we call someone?"
"No, he'll find his way back home. If not, then he's somebody's dinner." He must have weighed in at over 20 pounds. Huge. Definitely not wild.

So I snapped a few bad pictures of him wandering around my truck, then we got bored and had breakfast. On the way to the mailbox to retrieve the Sunday News, I was definitely on the lookout for turkey poop.Then off to church where we just escaped being part of the annual tow truck parade.

You gotta love May in New Hmapshire. I wonder what the Texan thinks of us? I think he had a good time, and I'm sure he thinks we know how to have a good time. Everyone was on their best behavior, the lobster was delish, and the children were quite entertaining.

"I need to go home now," my grandaughter whispered in my ear, "you're my best friend."
"Haha, Colleen, I am her new best friend....for now. But only because I fed her blueberries and got the ball glove away from her cousin.

Let it be...

Just like John Lennon says...not much else. Take advantage of your perfect moments with family, friends, and with yourself, and let it be. Enjoy the moments. I would say que sera, sera, but I really don't know how to spell it.
I never considered myself easy going, but hey, it's good to reinvent yourself. The reality is, we are all dispensable. Here today, gone tomorrow. Sounds tough, but it's reality.

What will they say when you are gone? What do you want them to think, to say? Does it matter? I have been thinking about this and, surprisingly, when it is time to go, it doesn't matter what they say. You have already moved on to a new place in your heart. It is enough to know that you worked hard and left the wood pile a little bit higher than when you found it. It does not matter if anybody notices. Because you know it, in your heart, and it is a good feeling.

So, not much else to say except, "let it be." You do not have to prove your importance or justify your existence. Accept what is and live your life. Easy going enough for you?

I learned you are not your job. Your job is your job, it is not your life. You are who you are, it does not matter what you do by day or night. Those are just actions..how you spend your time, and time is relative. Once the moment is over it is over, it does not matter a bit. The only time that matters is right now, the present. So for right now, while I am writing this or while you are reading this, that is all that matters. Simple. And when I am done and you are done, the moment will be over, and life will move on and whatever happens will happen. It is all okay, because it was all meant to be.

Mystic Pizza...a slice of heaven

Okay, so I shoulda had pizza for lunch and skipped Mickey D's. Who knew I was so close to heaven? So what exactly is in Mystic Connecticut? What is all the hub bub about? Darned if I know. 'It's a great place to visit! There's so much to do there!" There is?

Hmmm...so a few new cheesy looking hotels, Olde Mystik Village, a Starbucks, a Dunk's, reeeeealllllly expensive gas, and....where's the water? Isn't this supposed to be a famous seaport?

SO off I go on alittle adventure. I have my Tomtom, so I cannot possibly get lost. Where IS the water? Down to Main street, over the bridge...where's the parking lot?

Main Street....a few hundred yards of quaint little shops, (no water) and...oh, is that Mystic Pizza up there on the right with the Coors Light neon sign in the window? Somehow I pictured it differently.

I did manage to find the Old Seaport and the Aquarium (right next to Olde Mystik Village)...and I took some photos of old stuff, but it was really about nosing around the stores lining Main Street, and enjoying the sunny weather. After all, I live on the NH Seacoast. You seen one East Coast Seaport, you've seen 'em all.

But I must say, the Tomtom is sweet, we took a slight detour through Foxboro to Gillette Stadium for another photo opportunity. Then homeward to NH.

"Let's have some chowda and a salad and a bottle of wine and watch a movie tonight!"
Digital cable, although way overpriced, can offer some nice movie choices after a long day on the road. The movie selection of the day? Mystic Pizza, of course. The last time I saw it, back in the 80's, Matt Damon was nobody. I will say this. They did not film Mystic Pizza inside the Mystic Pizza shop. Trust me on that one. A little slice of heaven, maybe, but just a plain old ordinary pizza shop.

Weight Loss Secret Revealed!

You are never going to believe this..but I have discovered the secret to weight loss. It's true. I have weighed exactly the same for the longest time. At least a year, no matter what I try. I have tried exercise, salad, drinking more water, you name it. I have tried to motivate myself. Who knew the answer was right under my nose. Here goes:

1. Go single...i learned my spouse makes me eat more, not intentionally of course, but when I am with him I eat more. So for the last two weeks I have been single. And I lost weight. Some days I didn't even really eat meals, just snacks like popcorn, yogurt, cheeze its and toast. And an occassional protein bar for good measure. I could eat whenever I wanted, whatever I wanted. My husband likes cake. Enough said.
2. DO not make time to exercise, go out with friends and drink instead. It works. I don' t know why, maybe it has something to do with number 1 above. Of course I did play 9 rounds of golf last week...and went for 3, 2 mile walks on the beach. But that isn't really exercise...
3. Deal with your stress and depression. Do not give in to it! See number 2 above. Everything ties together. Wine is wonderful, but since it is not cool to drink alone, you must find a friend to drink with. And since drinking replaces eating, as long as you are not consuming frozen margaritas and mudslides in multiplicity, you will probably not eat as much.
4. Do not buy groceries!! Give someone else money and have them go to the store to "buy a few things." This is great because they do not know your secret cravings and thus they will come home with some random food items like peanut butter, cheeze its and popcorn . See number 1 above.
5. Order appetizers and salad. To go with your wine.See number 3 above. If you go out to eat. You can drink more and you won't have that awful "oh my God I am so stuffed, why did I eat so much?" feeling.

So that's it. Simple, right? Not really. Because I am not really single, it was only temporary. I may have a hard time convincing my spouse that he doesn't really need to eat dinner every night. I could throw him a protein bar or make a giant bowl of popcorn and uncork a bottle of vino...I have already tried letting him buy groceries...nothing but cookies, chips and cake..and lots of white food. However, since I am clearly on to something, and he will definitely benefit, perhaps he will allow me to continue with my newly discovered weight loss program.

But first I have to do the pile of toast, popcorn and coffee dishes, pick up all the clothes, get the laundry done, and clean off the kitchen table which has functioned as a depository of crap all week.

It's all about the sun and the beer and the cheese..

It will take me a week to rest from my vacation. And probably a month to burn off all the excess calories consumed during the 9 rounds of golf in 6 days. That's right.
Here are some things you should know if you ever decide to head to Myrtle Beach to play golf with a group of golf crazed maniacs:

If your tee time is early enough, you can still see your breath when you exhale, AND be finished by noon so you can get out and play another 18 in the afternoon and still make happy hour. BUT, don't be expecting Bloody Mary's on the front nine- they don't start serving hard alcohol until 10am. Beer, however, can be consumed as a breakfast item.

Bring lots of balls and tip money. OR make sure you have a handy dandy ball retriever. My favorite was the person in the washroom handing out paper towels to dry your hands ...for a tip..or maybe it was the cashier in the pro shop who wanted to know if I wanted change from a 5 for a 3 dollar logo ball.?!

It really is all about the cheese...points that is. When shots don't go your way, there is always a cheesy point for being closest to the pin.

Alcohol and caffeine do not make for good hydration. Every year I learn this by day 2. You need to drink water, too. Especially in 80 degree heat with 80 percent humidity.

USE a sand wedge to get out of the sand trap that is 150 yards off the tee. EVEN if it is 200 yards from the pin. Don't try to be a hero and use a 7 iron, then an 8 iron, then a 9 iron, moving 10 yards at a time up a very long waste bunker. Use a sand wedge and blast it out onto the fairway for 1 stroke.

Aim your tee shot AWAY from the sand trap that is 150 yards off the tee....especially if you hit a 150 yard tee shot.

Early morning tee times also favor wet fairways, wet sand and wet greens. Yuck..Wet sand is hard to get out of unless you pick the ball clean. I am now officially a connossieur of all things sand....

DO NOT celebrate a low round until the END of the round. The golf gods do not look kindly on premature exhuberance and bragging...

You can only tease the boys when they are playing well, because they are babies. Enough said.

ALWAYS check to find out where the bathrooms are located BEFORE consuming excessive amounts of liquid refreshment. Some courses are female friendly, others are not. Not too smart, considering females like to spend money and drink.

And when all is said and done.. it is all about the sun and the beer and the cheese. Let the golf games begin.

To be or not to be......

So the other night I received a phone call...late....from one of our union representatives and I thought after I hung up the phone, "Wow, my career in this place has ended the way it began 13 years ago. THAT is really weird."

Some folks thrive on drama. The more drama the better. They create drama where none exists. If they walk into a room and people are chill, they make themselves noticed and bada bing....it's SHOW TIME. I love drama! But I want to A) either audition for a bit part in a community theater production at the local high school; or B) Go watch a masterful performance on or off Broadway and get my money's worth.

Did I mention I am going to be spending the week with some amature drama queens? It should be quite entertaining. I'm sure they think I will play whatever part they have me down for, so I am trying to decide if I will cave in to the pressure, or not. Maybe I will improvise. I'm sure, by now, I have been type cast into the typical "middle aged, nurturing, school teacher type, who can, occasionally be quite bitchy if things don't go her way or if she hasn't had enough sleep and/or coffee."

I am so over that. Seven years ago I was a brat. I was pouty and miserable and annoying. I would say, looking back fondly on that first year, there was a bit of a power struggle and an awkward getting to know you stage. My golf game was non existant, I had no idea what the plan was, I was expected to just go along for the ride. Who in their right mind would drive 17 hours to Myrtle Beach, arrive in the early morning hours, unable to check into a hotel, and then be on the tee ready to play at noon?

Followed by (are you ready for this?) getting up at 6am, rushing to breakfast and being told...we are leaving in 5 minutes! No time for waking up, no time for coffee....UGGGGH. By Wednesday, I had figured the plan out, on my own. I like to be in control. I lke to know what the plan is. Lesson # 1: If you want to know what the plan is...ASK!!

I am surprised they ever invited us back. I think it was because they like my husband. It is not often that people get a chance to reinvent themselves. I feel like I have a golden opportunity for an Academy Award type performance coming up, for the week, on into the future, perhaps. So for the week, I will be my usual charming self because I will not be comfortable enough with anybody to be let my guard down. A command performance! It can be done, because I have done it before. And we all know that when you act it and believe it, it becomes reality. So there you go. Be who you want to be.

The interesting twist is that the cast of this particular drama has been together for more than a dozen years.I am the new person, relatively speaking. Not only am I the new person, but now I am in a new role, separated from my partner, who tends to be a bit of a drama queen himself, although he would never admit it.

So what surprises will this year's Myrtle Beach production have in store? Stay tuned....an all new drama packed adventure has just begun. Will this season's show be a hit? Will the new girl fit in? Will there be any surprising twists? You will have to watch the show.