Weight Loss Secret Revealed!

You are never going to believe this..but I have discovered the secret to weight loss. It's true. I have weighed exactly the same for the longest time. At least a year, no matter what I try. I have tried exercise, salad, drinking more water, you name it. I have tried to motivate myself. Who knew the answer was right under my nose. Here goes:

1. Go single...i learned my spouse makes me eat more, not intentionally of course, but when I am with him I eat more. So for the last two weeks I have been single. And I lost weight. Some days I didn't even really eat meals, just snacks like popcorn, yogurt, cheeze its and toast. And an occassional protein bar for good measure. I could eat whenever I wanted, whatever I wanted. My husband likes cake. Enough said.
2. DO not make time to exercise, go out with friends and drink instead. It works. I don' t know why, maybe it has something to do with number 1 above. Of course I did play 9 rounds of golf last week...and went for 3, 2 mile walks on the beach. But that isn't really exercise...
3. Deal with your stress and depression. Do not give in to it! See number 2 above. Everything ties together. Wine is wonderful, but since it is not cool to drink alone, you must find a friend to drink with. And since drinking replaces eating, as long as you are not consuming frozen margaritas and mudslides in multiplicity, you will probably not eat as much.
4. Do not buy groceries!! Give someone else money and have them go to the store to "buy a few things." This is great because they do not know your secret cravings and thus they will come home with some random food items like peanut butter, cheeze its and popcorn . See number 1 above.
5. Order appetizers and salad. To go with your wine.See number 3 above. If you go out to eat. You can drink more and you won't have that awful "oh my God I am so stuffed, why did I eat so much?" feeling.

So that's it. Simple, right? Not really. Because I am not really single, it was only temporary. I may have a hard time convincing my spouse that he doesn't really need to eat dinner every night. I could throw him a protein bar or make a giant bowl of popcorn and uncork a bottle of vino...I have already tried letting him buy groceries...nothing but cookies, chips and cake..and lots of white food. However, since I am clearly on to something, and he will definitely benefit, perhaps he will allow me to continue with my newly discovered weight loss program.

But first I have to do the pile of toast, popcorn and coffee dishes, pick up all the clothes, get the laundry done, and clean off the kitchen table which has functioned as a depository of crap all week.